That's Not a Bad Thing. Somewhere between great love and no strings attached lies a category of relationship that needs a bit more defining. It's emotionally connected, but without commitment or future planning.
To be clear, situationships—and other label-free relationships—are not inherently bad. With honesty, situationships can be a freeing way to explore connections without always needing to turn them into something serious or long term. It can be empowering to center yourself and take your time getting to know someone.
Advantages of a Situationship
People who tend to gravitate towards situationships are those who want the emotional connection and intimacy with a partner in a compartmentalized way.
Being in a situationship isn't necessarily bad; it all comes down to personal preference and what a healthy relationship means for you in your current stage of life. Pros of this arrangement include: You can see other people. If you want to see other people, you have the option.
If you hate confrontation or get nervous asking for things, the “What are we?” talk can feel intimidating. Yet, Hoffman shares that starting this conversation is the only way to turn a situationship into a real relationship.
Talk about your feelings
Turning your situationship into a relationship won't be possible if you don't speak up. You're stuck in this situation, and you want more. Then, it's time to tell this person that you're in love, and it's time to make it exclusive. It's being true to yourself and knowing what you deserve.
You're not moving forward. How long do situationships last? It depends on the two people involved, but you know you're in a situationship when you have been in this setup for more than six months. While it is common to test the waters before committing, staying too long in a situationship does not look promising.
It's emotionally connected, but without commitment or future planning. The labels “boyfriend” and “girlfriend” don't really apply, but it's way beyond a casual hookup. It includes going on dates, having sex, and building intimacy without a clear objective in mind. Enter “situationship.”
Less than a relationship, but more than a casual encounter or booty call, a situationship refers to a romantic relationship that is, and remains, undefined. "A situationship is that space between a committed relationship and something that is more than a friendship," explains psychotherapist and author Jonathan Alpert.
“Because situationships are often more casual than traditional relationships”, she says, “there may not be as much support from friends and family during the breakup.” It can make a lonely, difficult time even tougher; not exactly the dream conditions under which to heal healthily.
Some women are claiming it as an empowering relationship status. Some believe that what specifically makes a situationship empowering is the freedom and the choice. I.e. communicating with your potential partner that you're looking for a situationship and going forward with that clarity is what most agreed works.
A situationship is an informal arrangement typically between two people that has components of both emotional and physical connection, yet operates outside the conventional idea of being in an exclusive, committed relationship.
Bilek agrees that an open and frank conversation is the only productive transition from a situationship into something more. “Tell them, 'This is a good partnership for me,' and make sure to ask them how they feel.” Even if the conversation is hard, the resulting clarity will be worth the stress, Romanoff says.
It's a red flag if they force you to prolong the situationship after months of dating. It's a red flag if they disregard your feelings about the situationship. It's a red flag if they make you feel bad for wanting more from the relationship after countless dates.
As you spend time and get to know the person you're curious about, you'll gain clarity and ultimately discover whether you want to move forward or not. But if you know after just one date the relationship won't go past friendship, you are free to end it there.
As much as you'd like to, you can't force an unwilling person into a relationship. That will only create resentment and, eventually, end in disappointment. Perhaps the only thing worse than dating a person who won't commit is being with a person who half-heartedly agrees to commit and then regrets it.
It's characterized by emotional intimacy, spending time together, and often involves a physical and sexual component. However, partners won't define their relationship, place it into a category, or set clear boundaries. A situationship can cause uncertainty, anxiety, and confusion about the future of the relationship.
Does dating exclusively mean you're in a relationship? While the concept can be confusing, dating exclusively doesn't necessarily mean that you're in a relationship, and for some singles, the low-key nature of being with someone without really being with them is exactly what they're looking for.
Clinical psychologist Vijayeta Sinh says a situationship is simply a relationship that hasn't been defined. This could be due to a lack of willingness from both people to define the relationship or a lack of commitment towards one another.
Less Pressure and Commitment
Men who are not ready for a committed relationship may prefer situationships due to past trauma or bad experiences in their previous relationships. Situationship relationships offer less pressure, less commitment, and more freedom.
It's been three months or more. Three months is more than enough time to know if you want to commit to someone else. You have an idea of who each other is at this point. If they still “don't know” what they want or what they're looking for, it's in your best interests to walk away.
As I mentioned above, more than friends but not dating is what I call a situationship. The twilight zone in which you act like a couple but you are not official because you never agreed to be exclusive. And while you might very well have romantic feelings for each other, he does not want to commit.
A friendzone being an instance where a man gives a woman all his time, attention and sometimes money and then he gets no sex. Guys lose! While a situationship, the man gets all the sex he wants without the commitment and there, guys win!
But a situationship ending can be a brutal experience. Sure, commitment may not be present, but you can't take away the pain from a situationship breakup. It hurts just as much as normal breakups do. In some cases, even more.