The silent treatment is a refusal to verbally communicate with another person, a way of withholding connection. It can look like a spouse who stops talking after a fight or a displeased parent who refuses to speak or make eye contact with a child.
You may even have given it to someone at some point in your life. Whether in a parent-child relationship or a romantic bond, silent treatment is thought to be the most harmless way of punishing another person. It does not involve physical or verbal abuse and so is considered to be a non-violent form of punishment.
Silent treatment is thought of as an emotional harassment that inflicts a negative effect on children. When the parents punish their children this way, they will overthink and find it difficult to express their feelings because they are afraid, feeling immense pressure and guilty.
The silent treatment might be employed by passive personality types to avoid conflict and confrontation, while strong personality types use it to punish or control. Some people may not even consciously choose it at all.
What is the Silent Treatment? The silent treatment is a refusal to verbally communicate with someone, often as a means of punishment, emotional manipulation, or control. Although this type of behavior is more common in an intimate or romantic relationship, it can also happen with family members, friends, or co-workers.
Stonewalling is withdrawing from the conversation before everyone feels the issue is settled. I can think of primarily 2 instances of parental stonewalling. One is a withdrawal of emotional presence when frustrated with the child. Giving a child the cold shoulder or the silent treatment is a form of stonewalling.
If someone displays unmanageable emotions and easily flies off the handle, this is a serious red flag. Responding with uncontrollable rage or the "silent treatment" could point to abusive (physical or emotional) behavior in the future, says Trombetti.
The silent treatment, or stonewalling, is a passive-aggressive form of manipulation and can be considered emotional abuse. It is a way to control another person by withholding communication, refusing to talk, or ignoring the person.
Being ignored stimulates the part of the brain that detects physical pain, so silent treatment is very emotionally and physically painful. It can lead to negative emotions, like distress and anger. In addition, people who are often ignored tend to have lower self-esteem and feel that their lives have less meaning.
Most psychologists indicate that it depends on the situation. When silence, or, rather, the refusal to engage in a conversation, is used as a control tactic to exert power in a relationship, then it becomes "the silent treatment," which is toxic, unhealthy, and abusive.
Reasons behind silent treatment
Lack of communication skills: Some people feel they lack the skills to express themselves. Punishment: Silent treatment becomes abuse when it is intended to punish, control, or gain power over someone. To make the other person feel bad. To not appear abusive to others.
Emotional abuse includes: humiliating or constantly criticising a child. threatening, shouting at a child or calling them names. making the child the subject of jokes, or using sarcasm to hurt a child.
Being left in silence can be extremely painful, as it involves the loss of connection, love, intimacy, and sometimes even family participation. It can also feel unfair and unkind, leading to anger and further fighting.
Uninvolved parenting, sometimes referred to as neglectful parenting, is a style characterized by a lack of responsiveness to a child's needs. Uninvolved parents make few to no demands of their children and they are often indifferent, dismissive, or even completely neglectful.
The absence of responsive relationships poses a serious threat to a child's development and well-being. Sensing threat activates biological stress response systems, and excessive activation of those systems can have a toxic effect on developing brain circuitry.
Silent Treatment = Self-Protection
Most of the time, you actually have to say the words “Hey, what you did hurt me,” even when you would rather keep your mouth shut and protect yourself from all of the feels. Even when your partner means well, it pays off to speak up when they say or do something to upset you.
Held, that silence in the face of pertinent and direct accusation of crime par- takes of the nature of a confession, and is admissible as a circumstance to be considered by the jury as tending to show guilt, even though the person accused is in custody on the charge.
Don't let it stretch: Silent treatment will be effective only when partners reconnect quickly and make an effort to work through their issues. So, one clear answer to how long should the silent treatment last is to not let it stretch for days, weeks or months.
Narcissistic silent treatment is a type of narcissistic manipulation and narcissistic abuse. Narcissists may use the silent treatment to communicate they are unhappy with you, to control you, or as a form of punishment.
No contact is you setting a boundary to regain control in your life. This is not abusive. Silent treatment from the narcissist is meant for you to “learn a lesson” and realize how wrong you were to the narcissist.
The grey rock method is where you deliberately act unresponsive or unengaged so that an abusive person will lose interest in you. Abusive people thrive on emotions and drama. When you act indifferent and don't show your emotions, they may lose interest and stop bothering you. This is known as “grey rocking.”
Being silent as a form of defence
People that feel unable to communicate on an emotional level can feel safe behind a wall of silence. Instead of being present and engaged through difficulties they abandon you emotionally, physically and spiritually.
The silent treatment can be amazingly scary. This is true whether they are in the same home or if they have left the home and you have no ability to see what they are doing. Here's why. One of the number one survival strategies for a victim of abuse is to know the state of their partner.
What is a toxic parent? A toxic parent, says Dr. Childs, is a parent that puts their needs before their child. “They're more self-centered than other-centered,” she adds. Coupling these with other traits can give you a good idea of whether or not your parent or parents are toxic.