While good etiquette doesn't prevent you from having a second, third, or fourth shower, you may opt to tweak some of your plans if you've recently had your first baby—especially the gift-giving obligation.
It's not unusual for some friends to want to have their own baby shower for the mom-to-be, keeping it separate from celebrations with family and other loved ones. Perhaps the family wants something simple and low-key, while your friends want to throw a baby shower with a bit more pizzazz!
Is it okay to have more than one baby shower? Definitely! Friends, coworkers and family are as excited about your new baby as you are, and chances are they want to shower you with gifts. Since it's up to others to throw the shower, you can have as many or as few as you like.
It really all depends on the circumstance. If a mother-to-be is expecting a baby soon (a year or so) after her first, “it's perfectly fine to have a second baby shower,” said Lizzie Post, etiquette expert, great-great-granddaughter of Emily Post and co-host of the podcast, Awesome Etiquette.
For a second baby shower, there are some social rules and etiquette that you should keep in mind as well, to keep things from appearing “tacky.” First of all, it is best to have someone throw the baby shower for you if you are the mother. It can be anyone, such as a friend or relative.
Traditionally, baby showers are given only for the family's first child, and only women are invited, though this has changed in recent years, now allowing showers being split up for different audiences: workplace, mixed-sex, etc. Activities at baby showers include gift-giving and playing themed games.
A baby sprinkle is a casual and smaller-scale version of a baby shower. It is typically held for parents who are expecting their second, third, or subsequent child.
Who plans and hosts a baby shower? According to tradition, baby showers should be hosted by a friend or distant relative (like a cousin or an aunt) instead of a close family member. This custom is believed to have developed in order to avoid the appearance that the family was simply on a mission to collect gifts.
The hostess traditionally pays for the baby shower and its associated costs. However, the hostess can divide up the responsibility and costs by asking a few close family members or friends to co-host.
Holding a baby shower for the second baby is very common. So much so that it has the name “Baby Sprinkle”. So holding a second baby shower, or baby sprinkle is not only acceptable, it's encouraged.
While traditional baby showers consist of women only, co-ed baby showers are becoming more and more common. However, if you're looking to throw a traditional baby shower and still have the dad-to-be attend, this is completely acceptable and appropriate as most dad-to-be's will want to thank guests before they leave.
As this user demonstrates, it's ok to ask for what you want. So, don't be afraid to tell your close friends and family that no one is throwing you a baby shower. Sometimes, your loved ones may assume that someone else is doing it, which is why they haven't offered. If still no one offers, there's no need to worry.
Just like at your wedding, you might not have time to talk to all of your guests. Smaller groups make it easier to actually have a conversation with your loved ones during the party. Another bonus to having multiple baby showers is that it doesn't take as long to open gifts.
If you have a wide social circle, you might have a few showers for one baby. The mom-to-be's family may throw one shower, the dad-to-be's family may throw one shower, and your co-workers may throw one shower. Whenever possible, you should combine groups into one shower.
While baby showers have traditionally been all-female affairs, it's becoming more and more popular to throw “co-ed” baby showers, including both male and female guests. Also, sometimes people throw multiple showers.
Traditionally, according to baby shower etiquette, the host would be someone outside of your immediate family – like a close friend or relative. These days, the baby shower rules are more relaxed, with some pregnant mamas even hosting their own baby shower if they're not keen on handing over the reins.
As a fast rule, baby showers are often held at the end of the second trimester or early to midway through the third trimester — usually four to six weeks before the due date. Expectant parents who are having multiples may prefer to have the baby shower on the earlier side.
Traditional Baby 100 Days Celebration Gift: ang baos
The amount given should end with an even number while favouring the auspicious number eight. Giving new parents an ang bao with $88 or an amount with “88” in it signifies wishing double fortune and blessings.
The name says it all: Instead of a bigger party where first-time parents are showered with gifts, a baby sprinkle is a more casual, relaxed gathering where the guests of honor are "sprinkled" with support and potentially smaller gifts.
While baby sprinkles are traditionally hosted by close family members and friends, Gosselin says it's becoming increasingly common for the parents-to-be to host an event themselves.
If you have friends and family that want to attend an in-person shower, you could think about throwing a hybrid virtual baby shower where some guests are in person and some are virtual. This can be the best of both worlds!
Baby showers last on average 2-3 hours, depending on what's planned for the celebration. Plan for enough time to enjoy all of the baby shower games and activities you have planned for the day. Factor in things like the opening of gifts, snacking on hors d'oeuvres and cake, and catching up with friends and family.
A Baby Shower is a grand party with themed decorations and food, while Baby Sprinkles should require much less work. A Baby Sprinkle is a relaxed gathering of close friends and family to celebrate a new baby on the way. Essentially, Baby Sprinkles are a casual celebration that lasts between 1-2 hours.
Don't Schedule It Too Early or Too Late
A baby shower should not be held before the 20-week mark in pregnancy. Showers held too late, after 38 weeks, run the risk of the baby joining you for the baby shower. Use these two marks as your best guide.