Should you remind guests to RSVP? If your deadline has passed and you still haven't received a yes or no from a guest, you shouldn't definitively assume that they aren't coming! Most guests don't intentionally ignore the RSVP deadline, so following up is the best way to get the most accurate headcount.
Call, don't email. Your email might wind up in your guest's spam folder, which will lead to more frustration. When you make a phone call, your polite message of, “Just calling to see if you'll be able to attend our wedding” will yield best results, since the guest can hear in your voice that you're not angry.
A polite but clear reminder on the RSVP form itself is always a good bet to help get your guests moving sooner than later – “Please respond by XX date so that Hubby and I can get excited about seeing you at our wedding!” You're really saying “You have no idea how much stuff we need to get organized between now and then ...
If someone asks you to RSVP (sometimes also written as R.S.V.P.) it means that you should respond if you plan to attend. This helps a host or organizer plan the event by knowing how much food to order, etc. If you can no longer attend, it is polite to let the host or event organizer know your change of plans.
Most guests don't intentionally ignore the RSVP deadline, so following up is the best way to get the most accurate headcount. This will hopefully save you from last minute RSVPs via text, or worse, people showing up without ever RSVPing!
Ideally, the RSVP date should fall three to four weeks before the wedding, and the wedding invitation should be mailed six to eight weeks prior to the wedding. That means guests have a window of about a month to RSVP.
To word this delicately, you could go with something like: “We hope you received our wedding invitation that was extended to you x weeks ago. We have not yet received an RSVP from you and we will need to get the final numbers to our venue and caterer.
Unlike invitations, there's no need to include RSVP cards with your Save the Dates. Guests aren't expected to respond until they receive the invitation, although some may. DO add your wedding hashtag and wedding website.
On average, between 15 and 20 percent of guests will RSVP "no" to a wedding.
It is perfectly polite, however, for hosts to call friends to ask if they plan to attend. In fact, if you want an accurate headcount, you have no choice but to call those who haven't responded and ask whether they plan to come to your event or celebration. Yes, it's an awkward conversation. Be friendly, not accusatory.
Tip: Be brief. Be polite by asking if they've looked it over rather than accuse or point out that you haven't received it yet. Add value by giving them context for the urgency if needed or urgency about the next steps. Finish with a call to action so they know what you want them to do and why it's important.
When you send out an invitation, never say "please RSVP" because that phrasing is redundant. RSVP stands for répondez s'il vous plaît, which means "Please respond," so the "please" is already included.
Did you know that roughly 10-20% of guests who RSVP don't show up? While not showing up for something might not seem like a big deal, it is for you and many others. Guests who RSVP and don't show up fail to remember that each RSVP comes with a price tag.
The term "RSVP" comes from the French expression répondez s'il vous plaît, meaning "please respond." If RSVP is written on an invitation, it means the host has requested that the guest respond to say if they plan to attend the party.
Anecdotally, you'll often hear wedding pros say to expect around 80 percent of your total invited guests to RSVP “yes” to a wedding that doesn't involve major travel for the majority of guests. So, if you invite 100 people, 80 percent will accept the invitation.
Is it okay to ask wedding guests to RSVP digitally? Yes! While we definitely recommend sticking with paper invitations for your wedding, it's okay to go paperless for some of your other stationery—RSVP cards included.
Answer: As a rule, it's best to R.S.V.P. right away or no later than three to four weeks prior to the wedding.
In traditional RSVPs, the host would wait on a handwritten letter of response or a signed response card sent in a paper envelope. Then, a telephone call was an acceptable way to respond. Now, since virtually everyone has a cell phone and a busy schedule, a text RSVP is appropriate.
There's no magical formula to determine exactly how many invitees will RSVP "no" (trust us, if we could predict the future for you, we would), but it's safe to plan for roughly 15 percent of people to decline the invitation (and more like 20–30 percent for a destination wedding).
Many response cards will include an "M" followed immediately by a line. In keeping with more formal wedding tradition, the line is here as a way to kickstart your reply. The "M" stands for the first letter of the title you prefer to go by, be it Mr., Mrs., Ms., or Miss.
As little as 3 months before and as early as 12 is also perfectly acceptable. If you want to send something more than a year in advance I'd advise a save the date card and follow up with the invitations 4 to 6 months later.
Don't send out invitations too early
While it is important to order your invitations in advance, you should avoid sending them out too early. The recommended timeline to mail your invitations 8-12 weeks before your wedding.
If there is any detail of your party that is dependent upon an exact head count, an R.s.v.p. is more appropriate. With a casual drop-in affair or Open House where the refreshments and entertainment are ordered regardless of the number of attendees, using “Regrets only” is just fine.