Exposing them or letting them know you're onto them accomplishes nothing except providing the narcissist with an opportunity to rope you back in with an emotional fight. Unfortunately, that's the best-case scenario. In the worst case, they can turn violent and extremely vindictive.
So, before exposing a narcissist, it is important to stop putting up with their toxic behavior and focus on healing yourself. Otherwise, when you do act on your intent to expose them, they will capitalize on your weaknesses and triggers and project you like the crazy one.
A Narcissist Will Discard The Person Who Exposed Them to Others. Discarding is a very common form of abuse to see in narcissistic relationships and it is pretty self explanatory. It is simply when a narcissist will discard, break up with, divorce, or abandon their victim.
However, most likely, a narcissist will start a cycle of abuse again. So, a narcissistic relationship will last for as long as they can get something out of it. If you keep giving them attention, a narcissist will keep coming back. They will return as many times as they want, but only if you allow them to.
Narcissists don't know they're hurting you. It doesn't even enter their minds. And, if you try to tell them how you feel, they get defensive and make you feel you're wrong again. In fact, they'll even rather “innocently” tell you: “I'm only trying to help you.”
They can know they're hurting your feelings, but as long as it elevates their status, they may not care. Someone living with narcissism does cry. They can feel regret, remorse, and sadness. These emotions, however, don't often have roots in empathy.
The relationship cycle typical of extreme narcissistic abuse generally follows a pattern. Individuals in emotionally abusive relationships experience a dizzying whirlwind that includes three stages: idealization, devaluing, and discarding.
Breakups with narcissists don't always end the relationship. Many won't let you go, even when they are the ones who left the relationship, and even when they're with a new partner. They won't accept “no.” They hoover in an attempt to rekindle the relationship or stay friends after a breakup or divorce.
The most effective weapon to fend off narcissists is self-love. When you love yourself, it is more difficult for the narcissist to manipulate you and get under your skin. It will hurt them to know that you do not need them, that you are better off without them, and that you love yourself exactly as you are.
The real reason why simply confronting a narcissist and calling them out for their behavior won't work is simple: they're not actually listening to you. If they truly are a narcissist, they have never been listening, and are especially unlikely to take any criticism or feedback on board.
A key trait of narcissists is confidence – they are attractive because they think of themselves as attractive. They believe in their own value, so this confidence and charisma become qualities that pull others in, that makes them the life and soul of the party.
When a covert narcissist realizes you have unmasked them, they feel terrified… This is a narcissistic injury of colossal magnitude and one that sends them reeling. Their self-esteem plummets. They've been seen without their mask.
Yet narcissists are deeply myopic about their superficiality. Their sense of entitlement leaves them expecting worship, admiration, and respect, unaware that respect must be earned and admiration is based on character as well as accomplishment.
Although narcissists act superior, entitled and boastful, underneath their larger-than-life facade lies their greatest fear: That they are ordinary. For narcissists, attention is like oxygen. Narcissists believe only special people get attention.
FAQs. What is the narcissistic abuse cycle? It is a pattern of behavior that is often seen in relationships where one person has a narcissistic personality disorder. It typically consists of four phases: idealization, devaluation, discarding, and hoovering.
They WILL move on quickly because narcissists tend to view other people (including their partners) as conveniences — and once you are no longer useful, they will move on.
Make You Jealous
Their goal in doing this is multi-layered: they want you to feel as if they've moved on and they're happier without you; they also want you to question your motives and second guess why you chose to end the relationship; they want to create the notion that they never cared about you in the first place.
It is common for people with a narcissistic personality disorder to regret discarding or losing someone, but it does not mean what you might think. If they feel regret, it is not because they hurt you. It is for losing something that they value.
Narcissists can feel emotional pain, but not usually in the same way as others. The emotional pain they may feel is usually related to underlying selfish needs. Narcissists can feel emotional pain, but not usually in the same way as others.
They get jealous about everything
They talk a good game, but narcissists actually have very low self-esteem. Low self-worth/confidence/esteem is at the core of a narcissism. This low sense of self naturally makes it extremely easy for them to become jealous – very jealous.