Even in the best of situations, ADHD symptoms can make romance hard. When one or both partners have ADHD, the rush of emotions can seem chaotic and the hurt feels are not far away.
For those of us with ADHD, traits like rejection sensitive dysphoria, big feelings, and obsessive thinking prolong and worsen the pain of a breakup. After a heavy dose of heartache, I'm here to share my tips for moving on. Breakups cut deep in the ADHD heart.
It's often said that people with ADHD enjoy drama. And scientifically that makes sense. Negative emotions cause a release of adrenaline that stimulates the brain. Which means people with ADHD may subconsciously start a row or chase relationship drama.
Some people with ADD/ADHD also have trouble maintaining everyday relationships. They often quickly become bored with their romantic partner. When the rush of new love wears off, boredom sets in, they end the relationship and seek out someone new.
For many people affected by ADHD, key symptoms like inattention, forgetfulness, and disorganization negatively affect their relationships. The partners without ADHD can misinterpret their partners' intentions, resulting in increased frustration and resentment.
People with ADHD may be seen as insensitive, self-absorbed, or disengaged with the world around them. Emotional detachment, or the act of being disconnected or disengaged from the feelings of others, is a symptom of ADHD.
It's true: Attention deficit disorder (ADHD or ADD) has strained more than a few romantic relationships. Equally true (though less recognized) is the fact that partners with ADHD are among the most loyal, generous, engaged, and genuinely fun people you could meet.
Lack of consistency. Toxic communication — such as contempt, criticism, and sarcasm. Controlling behavior and distrust. Abusive — this is also inclusive of emotionally abusive behaviors, such as gaslighting, love bombing, breadcrumbing etc.
Spontaneous daydreaming can be a subtle symptom of ADHD for some people, especially girls and women. Excessive or disruptive daydreaming may also be linked to other mental health conditions, like maladaptive daydreaming.
Your partner with ADHD may have experience trouble completing tasks because of a lack in interest or focus. You might notice in your early stages of dating or relationships that there are times that your partner is disorganized, unfocused, and cannot pay attention to details.
Because adults with ADHD constantly crave new experiences, maintaining a long-term relationship can be a struggle, even without the burden of criticism. If resentment builds, an their need for stimulation is likely to create the impulse to find another partner.
Many people with ADHD experience a physical hypersensitivity to a variety of things, including touch. Being hypersensitive may mean that stimulation of their genitals might be uncomfortable or even painful in someone with ADHD.
“Opposites Attract”: People with ADHD are attracted to “organized” and joyless workers bees who can keep the trains running for the both of them and who in turn are drawn to their free-spirited ADHD partner's spontaneity and sense of fun.
Intense emotions and hyperfocus
New relationships or crushes are exciting and (mostly) enjoyable. But for kids with ADHD, that excitement and enjoyment can sometimes go too far. Your child might hyperfocus on the relationship, while schoolwork, sports, family, and friends take a backseat.
When you begin to date someone, you may be showered with gifts, compliments, and attention; you may feel pressured to commit too quickly. This behavior is called idealizing, or “love bombing.” Devaluing.
Similarly, people with ADHD can also experience 'meltdowns' more commonly than others, which is where emotions build up so extremely that someone acts out, often crying, angering, laughing, yelling and moving all at once, driven by many different emotions at once – this essentially resembles a child tantrum and can ...
Many ADHD symptoms and traits can affect a person's ability to resolve conflicts. For instance, being unable to manage their emotions well can get in the way of toning down a confrontation. Being easily distracted, talking too fast or interrupting a conversation, and forgetfulness can also cause conflicts.
ADHD can make you feel angry or lonely. These emotions may feel draining and sap your interest in sex. Symptoms of ADHD can also cause relationship issues that make it harder for you and your partner to enjoy intimacy.
Often girls with ADHD have a physiological sensitivity that results in their not wanting to be touched or feeling really sensitive to physical affection, such as hugs.
Studies have shown that the greater the number of ADHD symptoms, the greater the fear of intimacy. Fear of intimacy and a reduced belief in the value of intimacy appear to be strongly related to symptoms of inattention. Sex is a component of intimacy in a relationship and ADHD also affects sexual activity.
Can someone with ADHD fall in love? While all kinds of people can fall in love, the experience of people with ADHD falling in love can be more intense for them. This is because the person with ADHD can hyperfocus on the person they are in love with.
They might blurt out something insensitive, or make a big purchase without looking at their finances or having a discussion with you first. Their impulsive tendencies can often lead to reckless, even destructive actions. Takeaway: In many cases, someone with adult ADHD won't be able to explain their behavior.