While there are many benefits to protecting children's belief in Santa, it's not OK to lie to children about his existence. Discovering the truth about Santa is part of growing up and a sign that the child is developing critical thinking skills.
Although the Santa sham is meant to bring magic to kids' holidays, parents should not lie to their children about Santa because it improperly incentivizes good behavior while ensuring disappointment and broken trust upon discovery.
Telling kids lies–about Santa or anything else–doesn't help build a trusting relationship with them. Kids trust us fully and need us to help them make sense of the world. They rely on us to be truthful. They rely on us for security and safety.
To perpetuate the Santa myth, parents must lie to their kids. To buoy belief, adults often stage elaborate deceptions, laying traps for the child's developing intellect. The myth encourages lazy parenting and promotes unhealthy fear. The myth makes kids more acquisitive, not less so.
Adults should not lie to children about Santa. When a child asks the question as to whether Santa is real or not, they're already at a developmental stage to distinguish between reality and fictional characters.
"There is no such thing as being too old to believe in Santa, the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy," Kelman tells Yahoo Life. "Letting kids figure it out on their own is preferable to parents breaking the news to them.
"It's not an overnight shift in thinking," says Laura Lamminen, Ph. D., a pediatric psychologist at Children's Health℠, "and there's no set age where children should know the truth about Santa Claus." Dr. Lamminen says each family and each child within that family will be ready to talk about Santa at different ages.
Santa is real in the sense that he was an actual person. Otherwise known as Saint Nicholas, his story goes all the way back to the 3rd century. He was a monk who was born in 280 A.D. in modern-day Turkey. As an only child, he was given great affection by his parents.
The first good news is that Santa Claus does not really care about what you or your children believe, and he will not be upset and will not punish you if you don't believe in him. So there is no harm in not believing.
Believing in Santa is not only harmless fun, it can actually help children as their brains develop, experts say.
In 2019, House Method surveyed more than 4,500 families across the United States, and found the overall average age for no longer believing in Santa Claus is 8.4 years old. (But it varies by state: Kids in Mississippi generally believe until they're 10, while kids in Oregon stop believing at 7.)
Most Americans (67%) stopped expecting Santa to shimmy down their chimney by the time they entered seventh grade. Half (49%) of Americans say they stopped believing in Santa before the age of 10 – with a quarter (23%) reporting that they lost sight of him between the ages of seven (10%) and eight (13%).
Research shows that kids who are lied to by their parents are more likely to lie themselves, so it is always a good idea to tell the truth if possible. Don't use Santa as a tool for motivating your kid. Letting them grow through fantasy and imagination is positive.
Ironically, critics of the Santa myth base their opinions on their "beliefs" about the situation as there is no empirical data or scientific evidence that anyone has ever been harmed by believing in Santa. Conversely, most people find the myth magical as a child and charming as an adult.
New survey looks at how former children feel about being lied to by parents about Santa. 72 percent of former believers keep the Santa myth alive for their own kids. At press time, about 1,200 people have taken the survey.
Krampus is the counterpart to Santa Claus. He is a devil figure that scares naughty children back onto the path of good behavior. The legend originated in European Alpine folklore where he would descend from the mountains.
It is believed that Nicholas was born sometime around A.D. 280 in Patara, near Myra in modern-day Turkey. Much admired for his piety and kindness, St. Nicholas became the subject of many legends. It is said that he gave away all of his inherited wealth and traveled the countryside helping the poor and sick.
When it comes to discovering the hidden "truth" about Santa Claus, let's get one thing out of the way: Santa is real. Historical records detailing his story stretch all the way back to the third century, when St. Nicholas became the patron saint of children.
Many children believe wholeheartedly in the Santa Claus myth. Research suggests that a combination of testimony and evidence keep the belief alive. At some point, cognitive development leads most kids to grow out of the belief naturally.
And for all intents and purposes, the Elf on the Shelf is real. It's a real doll, after all. The real question is, though, do you think the Elf on the Shelf is real? And I'm here to tell you that, yes, it is.
From a scientific viewpoint, elves are not considered objectively real. However, elves have in many times and places been believed to be real beings.
Santa advises that no family member touch their Elf on the Shelf, but he does describe a few rare instances when an adult may use tongs or potholders to help an elf in an urgent situation. Parents: read on to learn about special, few and far between cases where emergency help will be required.
There isn't a right or wrong age to tell kids the truth
And it occurs to them that flying reindeer and a guy coming down the chimney might be a little far fetched. So don't be surprised if your child starts asking questions.