Unlike anger that can sometimes be positive, resentment is never positive as it only hurts the individual. Resentment works as a barrier, which makes the person unable to forget and forgive and to move on with his life. In order to let go of resentment, the individual needs to acknowledge his actual condition.
Resentment is closely related to, but not the same as, anger. Resentments can be viewed as negative feelings toward someone or something that stems from the past. Resentment is often the re-experiencing of past wrongs- real or perceived- and the old feelings of anger connected to them.
In some instances, resentment may make it hard for you to let go of anger. You might even experience a strong desire for revenge. Holding on to such a high level of negativity takes a toll on your mental health. Recognizing the signs, taking preventive action, and getting treatment can help.
Resentment can intoxicate a person, as feelings of anger and rage lend a false sense of power and do not always encourage a healthy form of expression. But this intoxication can become dangerous, as any intoxication can, when feelings of resentment grow unchecked and turn into hatred.
The difference between resentment and hate is that resentment is usually tied to a specific circumstance. You hate somebody in general, but you resent them for a particular event.
Resentment has the toxic potential to unwind your relationship because it blocks partners from moving toward each other to repair deep hurts. Many couples who come into counseling find they waited too long.
Resentment is hurt, disappointment, anger, or any other negative emotion that persists over a period of time. It usually doesn't go away on its own – instead, it accumulates and grows bigger. As this resentment continues, the people in the relationship find it more difficult to express love and empathy to one another.
Sarcastic or snarky comments or backhanded compliments can be a telltale sign of resentment. If your partner's otherwise playful teasing starts to take a nasty tone, you should consider that resentment is brewing. Similarly, they may start to put you down or chip away at your confidence with criticism.
Resentment is the feeling that something wrong was done to you. If you feel like there's an injustice in the world it can easily leave you feeling resentful. Resentment feels like a natural response to being hurt by someone.
Resentment is the feeling that you did not get your way in the past. These feelings are therefore based on selfishness (the need to get your wants fulfilled).
Empathy as an antidote to resentment:
When we don't experience empathy, we often feel our experience isn't seen or understood. So if the same hurt happens again, it can help build resentment that our partner didn't learn our hurts last time or try to protect us from getting hurt again in the same way.
Marriages can recover from resentment, but it takes time and consistent effort from both partners. It challenges partners to forgive one another for the behaviors that led to feelings of resentment and hurt. However, that isn't an easy task.
Tertiary emotions are emotions experienced as a consequence of experiencing a secondary emotion. Resentment as a tertiary emotion comes after rage (secondary) that comes after experiencing anger (primary).
Jealousy seems akin to envy in involving resentment and attribution of responsibility. However, resentment and attribution of responsibility have much greater odds of being rational when present in jealousy than in envy. We often think of jealousy as intimately tied to romantic love.
Resentment and anger in love relationships are unlike the variations of those emotions in other social contexts. Many people are resentful or angry only in love. Only those we love can remind us that we may be unlovable or inadequate as love partners.
Examples may include being dismissed, belittled, or on the receiving end of a perceived insult. Sometimes, though, people get caught up in feelings of resentment because they misunderstand what happened or the other person's intentions.
Why Is Resentment Toxic in a Relationship? If you hold grudges or stew about something, a high level of anger can take a toll on your mental health. Without effective communication or problem solving with the other person, you can get stuck in feelings of ill-will.
You feel ignored.
One of the main signs of resentment in a relationship is being ignored by your partner. Although you mind find yourself trying to express your feelings to your partner, but they keep ignoring what you say or turning the conversation back to their own experiences. This builds resentment.
In psychology, resentment is when a person has ongoing upset feelings towards another person or place because of a real or imagined injustice. One of the reasons resentments are so hard to get rid of is because there is so much bad advice floating around out there on how to deal with them.
Bitterness and resentment relate to anger. When we let anger at others or frustration at our situation fester and build up in our hearts, we can begin to develop bitterness and resentment. Often bitterness takes root when we are hurt by others or we think a situation we are put in is unjust or unfair.
Holding grudges can often mean holding anger and stress. A 2021 large-scale study analyzed the daily emotional responses of over 20,000 people and found that “intense high-arousal negative emotions” such as anger and stress were associated with higher blood pressure (BP) and heart rate (HR) reactions.
Unexpressed anger breeds resentment or gets turned against ourselves. It's been said that depression is anger turned inward. Examples are guilt and shame, forms of self-hatred that when excessive, lead to depression.
Resentment is re-experiencing negative moments from the past that hurt you. It is a cocktail of anger, shame, mistrust, fear and sadness.