As a neutral color, white should not be considered inappropriate at most North American funerals. Though you should ask the family hosting the service when in doubt, plain, neutral colors are generally acceptable for memorials. Wearing white in conjunction with other dark tones is absolutely appropriate.
The truth of whether wearing white to a funeral is likely to offend anyone has to do with the circumstances. It's more likely to be offensive if: You're very close family, such as a parent, child, grandchild, or spouse, of the person who has died. You're wearing white with lettering or prints on it.
It's tradition to wear a white shirt at a funeral, but a plain, unpatterned buttoned shirt in a muted colour is okay. Shoes should be dark, clean and polished. Dresses, skirts and trouser suits can be all be worn to a funeral – the focus is on conservatism.
The family of someone who dies wear white in the mourning process in the hope that their loved ones are reborn again. The idea of white mourning, otherwise known as deuil blanc in French, was formed during the 16th century when white was worn by bereaved children and unmarried women.
Wearing dark grey or deep blue is just as appropriate as black, while brown and lighter greys are suitable for the vast majority of funeral services. However, unless specifically requested by the deceased or their family, you should avoid any bright colors such as yellows, oranges, pinks, and reds.
You Don't Have To Wear Black
However, colors like dark grey, dark blue, darker green, white, and beige can be appropriate. If you don't own any black clothing, you may always opt for a subtle hue that is appropriate for formal settings. In addition, stay away from anything with distracting patterns or prints.
White is meant to signify purity and rebirth and is a popular colour of mourning for many East Asia countries. It also has strong connections to Europe as well.
Black is the rule of thumb
Unless stated otherwise, black is an excellent place to start your funeral outfit quest. A classic cut dress or tailored pants for women and a suit for men is a good idea. Don't worry about trying to make your accessories match. No one will notice if you're wearing red shoes or a red bag.
First and foremost, dress appropriately. This means no jeans, shorts, or tank tops. Instead, opt for dark, conservative clothing. Women should avoid wearing anything too revealing or flashy, and men should make sure their clothing is clean and wrinkle-free.
Avoid dressing in casual clothing, such as athletic wear, tank tops, or shorts. Skip the flip-flops, tennis shoes, sneakers, or boat shoes. Remove the neon necktie, purse, or accessory. Shy away from wearing jeans, even black ones, because they are considered too casual for a funeral.
Traditionally, funeral etiquette suggests men and women wear black clothing that's conservative and respectful. Black or dark colours are most common, but some cultures expect mourners to wear a less traditional funeral colour.
While black is still the most popular choice of clothing for attending a funeral in most settings, wearing white can be done without fear of offending. Sometimes, the deceased's family asks their guests to wear a particular color to honor their loved ones.
While there is no specific dress code to follow, it's always best to err on the side of caution and pick a conservative outfit. Remember, the most important thing is to make sure your outfit does not call unwanted attention to yourself and away from the service.
A suit with a skirt or pants in a dark, solid color is a safe choice. You do not have to wear black unless the specific culture dictates it. A skirt of appropriate length and blouse or sweater is normally appropriate.
For a funeral, keep your dress shirt simple. A clean, white dress shirt is the best choice. A subdued color like gray or black can also work. Again, avoid bright colors.
Women should avoid wearing overly casual or festive clothing. Appropriate outfits for women to wear to a funeral include a skirt suit or pantsuit; a skirt of appropriate length (not a mini skirt) or pants (not jeans) and a top with sleeves, a blouse, or a sweater; flats or pumps (not sneakers).
For women, adding color can be done through patterns and floral designs. Much like with men's funeral attire, color should be used to subtly accent your outfit. Try to make sure that your outfit does not have overly bright colors or wild patterns that draw attention.
The traditional dress code for women at funerals is similar to what is expected of men. Clothes should be dark, although a white, cream or ivory blouse under a dark cardigan or blazer is usually fine.
Is it bad to cry at a funeral? Everyone shows their emotions differently and it can be healthy to cry at a funeral – don't feel embarrassed. Though, if you become a bit overwhelmed and find yourself crying uncontrollably, it's a good idea to excuse yourself until you have regained control.
Bring tissues or a handkerchief
Crying isn't always pretty. It's entirely okay, and you shouldn't feel worried about what you look like when you're feeling a strong emotion. However, bringing tissues or a handkerchief helps you feel more in control of your appearance when you're struggling with tears.
Hair should be simple. Those with shorter hair should go for a clean look. Those with longer hair can try out a modest updo or a half-up, half-down hairstyle. Like with all aspects of your outfit, your hair should be respectful and not distracting from the memorial event.
While short heels are appropriate for a funeral, you shouldn't choose shoes with a heel that's too high. Stick to heels at or below an inch tall or choose a pair of dark-colored flats.
Select close-toed dark shoes.
Heels or flats are both appropriate for funerals, but sandals or peep-toes are best left to other events. Choose shoes that work well in an office or that you might wear for a job interview. And save the sparkly, high-heeled shoes for clubbing.