Kertz recommends giving your children a chance to say their farewells before putting down a sick pet. The experts at the Association for Pet Loss and Bereavement say adults too often try to shelter children from this painful experience, but they warn it's the wrong approach. I'll admit, I didn't do this.
If your dog does not appear to get upset after you have left, then you can continue to say goodbye to them when you leave. If you have determined that your dog does get upset in your absence, it is best to seek professional help right away.
For this age range, I suggest families do not involve the children too much or have them present during a euthanasia. For children old enough to verbalize, a simple “Mommy is sad because Stoli is no longer here” is generally adequate enough. Ages 6-13.
Scatter the pet's ashes, hold a memorial service, make a scrap book or create a photo collage. Give your child ways to contribute, like finding a burial place or choosing a favorite toy to bury with your pet. Be patient. Parents often want to ease their child's pain by rushing out and buying another pet.
Because preschoolers take your words at face value, it's important to use simple, accurate language: “Sasha's heart stopped beating. Her body didn't work anymore and she died. That means we will not see her or pet her again.” Let your child know it's okay to be sad.
Here are some examples of what not to say when a pet dies: "Don't cry." Crying is part of the grieving process for many people. "It's just a [dog/cat/etc.]." A comment like this that downplays the loss is mean and thoughtless. You don't know what the pet meant to that person.
Why Pet Loss Hurts. “One reason why losing a pet is such a deep loss is because animals' love is so unconditional and accepting,” she said. But it's also because so many aspects of people's lives are impacted. “Every single facet of life is part of the loss,” she explained.
However, the loss of that companion can be devastating and traumatic. Humans develop a lasting attachment with their pets, which breaks at the loss of the pet. Regardless of the manner of death, a pet owner may perceive the death as traumatic and experience distress or exhibit posttraumatic stress symptoms.
Research has confirmed that for most people, the loss of a dog is, in almost every way, comparable to the loss of a human loved one.
Any death can be difficult for a child, and a wide range of emotional and behavioral responses are common including changes in sleeping pattern or appetite; sad, angry, or anxious feelings; social isolation; persistent thoughts about the death; or feeling the person's presence nearby.
Give brief, simple answers. Five-year-olds can't handle too much information at once. At this age, it's most helpful to explain death in terms of physical functions that have ceased, rather than launching into a complicated discussion of a particular illness: "Now that Uncle John has died, his body has stopped working.
They might worry about own health or fear bodily harm and death. Some children in this age group might act out their anger and sadness or be unable to concentrate at school. Still others might have a jocular or indifferent attitude about the death, or they might withdraw and hide their feelings.
It's normal — especially for first-timers — to feel a bit overwhelmed. If you're questioning your decision or wondering how to cope with feelings of anxiety, regret, or guilt, please understand that these feelings are quite common and they almost always pass with a bit of time.
Crying after the death of a pet is a normal and healthy way of grieving. When we experience the death of a pet, the impact is profound, and at times it can be overwhelming.
The grief that comes with losing a beloved pet can be all-consuming. In fact, the pain can actually manifest with physical symptoms that mimic a heart attack.
Acute grief symptoms after the death of a pet can last from one to three months and general symptoms of grief can continue, on average, for six months to a year This grieving period can vary significantly from person to person and can be much longer or shorter.
Talk to your child in a caring and compassionate way and let them know that it is ok for them to feel sad, angry or confused about the death of their pet. Let your child know that you are there to answer their questions in an open and honest way.
In such circumstances, some pet carers find that they experience flashbacks, intrusive thoughts, nightmares and other symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) for a long time after the loss of their companion.
Pet Loss and Mental Health
Some people experience mental symptoms of grief, which may include confusion, trouble focusing, constant dwelling on your pet, or thinking you see or hear your pet. Loss of an animal companion can also lead to anxiety and depression for some people.
If you've lost a pet, chances are you've heard of the Rainbow Bridge. This bridge is a mythical overpass said to connect heaven and Earth — and, more to the point, a spot where grieving pet owners reunite for good with their departed furry friends.
Real-life 'Rainbow Bridge' hidden in enchanted mountain wonderland in NC. The 'Rainbow Bridge' is a familiar poem given to many misty-eyed pet owners on the day they say goodbye to their beloved, furry family member. However, many people don't realize a real Rainbow Bridge is right here in North Carolina.
If you want to help in some way, offer to do shopping, cleaning, or activities your loved-one might not have the energy to do. Talk about the pet. This will actually help your loved-one to feel better. Write down something you remember and liked about the pet and give it to the person whose pet died.