Should borderlines have kids?

The children of parents with BPD are at risk of poorer outcomes in terms of their own mental health, educational outcomes and wellbeing. The challenges of being a parent can also exacerbate the symptoms of those with BPD traits.

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Can someone with BPD be a good parent?

People with borderline personality disorder can be very effective and nurturing parents, but because the symptoms of BPD can be very intense, for many people this does take some work.

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Can a person with BPD raise a child?

Many people with borderline personality disorder are highly functional parents. Some people raised by parents with BPD compensate by becoming exceptionally compassionate, mature, and competent.

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Is it hard to be a parent with BPD?

Parents with high BPD features reported significantly greater parenting stress, distress, difficult child and difficult parent-child relationships compared to those with low BPD features, with medium to large effect sizes observed.

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Do borderlines love their children?

Borderline Personality Disorder doesn't cause confusion when it comes to love. It causes one to feel emotions to the extremes, including love. So, absolutely yes, borderline parents love their children very much.

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VALERIE PORR - Parental Grief: When Your Child Has a BPD Diagnosis

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What happens to borderlines as they age?

The condition seems to be worse in young adulthood and may gradually get better with age. If you have borderline personality disorder, don't get discouraged. Many people with this disorder get better over time with treatment and can learn to live satisfying lives.

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What kind of parents do people with BPD have?

Parents with BPD may oscillate between being overly attached or involved with their children and being hostile or dismissive. Sometimes, they might present as extraordinarily loving and attentive. Other times, they may be harsh, punitive, and abusive.

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How can I be a good mum with BPD?

Tips for Parenting with Borderline Personality Disorder
  1. Educate yourself. ...
  2. Develop healthy coping skills. ...
  3. Practice mindfulness. ...
  4. Establish routines. ...
  5. Teach feelings. ...
  6. Get support. ...
  7. Use professional help.

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Will I ever have a healthy relationship with BPD?

People with BPD are good and compassionate, and they can have healthy relationships. It takes work, and lifelong challenges will remain. Therapists and doctors can work with you or your partner to develop a treatment plan.

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Should I tell my kids I have BPD?

As a parent you influence your child's development through your everyday behaviour. Your child will observe and imitate your behaviours, so it is important that you explain the mental illness in a way that they understand that what they are experiencing with you is something they can talk about with you.

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Does BPD count as a disability?

The Social Security Administration placed borderline personality disorder as one of the mental health disorders on its disabilities list. However, you'll have to meet specific criteria for an official disability finding. For example, you must prove that you have the symptoms of the condition.

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How likely is BPD to be passed down?

One strong predictor of the disorder is family history. In fact, having a first-degree relative (parent, sibling, child) with BPD puts you at a 5 times greater risk of developing it yourself, according to NAMI. (2) With a first-degree relative, you share an average of 50 percent of your genes.

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Does BPD come from mother or father?

Conclusions: Parental externalizing psychopathology and father's BPD traits contribute genetic risk for offspring BPD traits, but mothers' BPD traits and parents' poor parenting constitute environmental risks for the development of these offspring traits.

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What does a parent with BPD look like?

Mothers with BPD may oscillate between over-involved, intrusive behaviors and withdrawn, avoidant behaviors. These behaviors may also manifest as oscillations between hostile control and coldness.

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What kind of partner does someone with BPD need?

People with BPD strongly desire a deep connection with those around them. This is partly because of their fear of abandonment but because they simply love people and crave deep connections.

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Why do borderlines hurt the ones they love?

Often, the borderline person is unaware of how they feel when their feelings surface, so they displace their feelings onto others as causing them. They may not realise that their feelings belong within them, so they think that their partner is responsible for hurting them and causing them to feel this way.

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How can I be a good girlfriend with BPD?

Finding Relief if You're Facing Relationship Problems Due to Borderline Personality Disorder
  1. Seek out information. ...
  2. Get help. ...
  3. Practice healthy communication. ...
  4. Ask open-ended questions. ...
  5. Talk only when your partner is calm. ...
  6. Offer support. ...
  7. Avoid labeling or blaming. ...
  8. Take threats seriously.

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What do borderline mothers do?

The BPD mother has expectations of her child to tend to her needs while neglecting their own needs. These children learn that in order to feel accepted or loved in some way, they must be caring for their mom's emotional needs and catering to her demands, which creates a false sense of security and identity.

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How do you make someone with BPD happy?

But there are lots of positive things you can do to support them:
  1. Be patient.
  2. Don't judge.
  3. Be calm and consistent.
  4. Remind them of their positive traits.
  5. Set clear boundaries.
  6. Plan ahead.
  7. Learn their triggers.
  8. Provide distractions.

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How can BPD make living easier?

How can I help myself in the longer term?
  1. Talk to someone.
  2. Keep a mood diary.
  3. Plan for difficult times.
  4. Make a self-care box.
  5. Try peer support.
  6. Focus on what matters to you.
  7. Look after your physical health.
  8. Find specialist support for contributing factors.

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How do borderlines treat their family?

Key points. People with borderline personality disorder (BPD) may engage in divisive behaviors toward family members, which affects patterns of relating. Patterns that cause conflict among families with BPD include competition and triangulation, in which a third person is brought into an argument.

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Does BPD have a life expectancy?

Results: People with Borderline Personality Disorder have a reduced life expectancy of some 20 years, attributable largely to physical health maladies, notably cardiovascular. Risk factors include obesity, sedentary lifestyle, poor diet and smoking.

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Do borderline parents have borderline children?

Children of mothers with BPD are also at heightened risk for exhibiting attention difficulties, aggressive behavior, and low self-esteem, in addition to major depression, anxiety, and borderline personality disorder itself.

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What does severe borderline look like?

A pattern of intense and unstable relationships with family, friends, and loved ones. A distorted and unstable self-image or sense of self. Impulsive and often dangerous behaviors, such as spending sprees, unsafe sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, and binge eating.

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When does BPD peak?

Findings from community samples have demonstrated that BPD symptoms and features peak during mid-adolescence and decline during late adolescence and young adulthood [11–14].

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