Touch or hold them if they want you to, or give them more physical space if they need it. Don't try to reason with your child. Be consistent about not giving in to demands. This will help your child learn that tantrums don't help them get what they want.
Some tantrums may escalate
While ignoring tantrums might be effective for some children, it can backfire for others because it makes them feel dismissed or abandoned. This sense of neglect may intensify the child's emotions, leading to an escalation in their tantrum.
Don't lie to the child to head off a tantrum. Don't say that the child's behavior is making you sad. Don't take the child's tantrum (or what he or she says before, during, or after) personally. Don't be sarcastic (e.g., “your life is soooo hard” or “because this is clearly the most important thing on the planet”)
Stay close and welcome the feelings instead.
If you walk away from a melting down child, they might be able to pull it together. The threat of abandonment (literal, or love withdrawal) can be enough to stop a tantrum. But what they learned was that you are only there for them if they are feeling good.
Typically, the best way to respond to a tantrum is to stay calm. If you respond with loud, angry outbursts, your child might imitate your behavior. Shouting at a child to calm down is also likely to make things worse. Instead, try to distract your child.
Take your child to a quiet place where he or she can calm down safely. Speak softly or play soft music. Some children throw tantrums to seek attention. Try ignoring the tantrum, but pay attention to your child after he or she calms down.
Tantrums usually last between two and 15 minutes. Violent tantrums that last longer than 15 minutes may be a sign of a more serious problem. If your child has lengthy, violent outbursts, talk to your healthcare provider.
Kids with ADHD can also have tantrums or meltdowns. These meltdowns can be extreme and often involve crying, yelling, and fits of anger. When a child has a meltdown, parents may feel overwhelmed and not know what to do.
Meltdowns are often more severe and emotional, more long-lasting and more difficult to handle than tantrums. As mentioned, tantrum often happens in younger children and as the child grows up, they become less and less frequent. However, autistic meltdowns are not age-related and they may happen at any age.
There's no hard-and-fast rule or magic age when toddler clinginess ends and you can stop carrying and holding your child once and for all. That said, most kids become a bit unwieldy between ages 2 and 4, making it difficult to tote them for long stretches of time.
At home, it's best to let your child work through his tantrum. It can be embarrassing if your child has a meltdown in public and can make it harder for you to stay calm. If this happens, remove your child from the situation as quickly as possible. Take a deep breath, respond calmly and don't give in to demands.
Tantrums usually begin in children 12 to 18 months old. They get worse between age 2 to 3, then decrease until age 4. After age 4, they rarely occur.
“Ignoring or selective attention must be coupled with positive attention, praise, and reinforcement,” Dr. Reichert said. “If a child is tantruming and yet also trying to use their words to communicate they are upset, we can praise them for using their words and ignore everything else they are doing.
As harmless as silent treatment may seem, it is as dangerous, especially when it involves children. Instead of resorting to such practices, understand how unhealthy it is. Communication is the best way to resolve any issue in a relationship.
This book describes a model of positive behavior supports for preventing and responding to the cycle of meltdown behavior for students with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD). The model includes six phases: Calm, Triggers, Agitation, Meltdowns, Re-Grouping, and Starting Over.
While some people with autism merely yell or stamp, many really do become overwhelmed by their own emotions. 3 Bolting, hitting, self-abuse, crying, and screaming are all possibilities. These can be particularly frightening—and even dangerous—when the autistic individual is physically large.
Here's the reality: every child will throw a tantrum at some point, whether they have an autism diagnosis or not. But for children with autism, tantrums can be more frequent, distressing, and difficult to quell. However, it is in no way impossible; you'll just need to be a little more patient.
An autism meltdown is a common occurrence for autistic folks with autism due to sensitivity to sensory input. While meltdowns are more common among younger autistic individuals, they're not the same as a childhood tantrum. Unlike tantrums, meltdowns aren't connected to a goal and may occur at any age.
Tantrums should be handled differently depending on why your child is upset. Sometimes, you may need to provide comfort. If your child is tired or hungry, it's time for a nap or a snack. Other times, its best to ignore an outburst or distract your child with a new activity.
But, if your toddler usually has tantrums that last 25 minutes or more even with you trying to intervene, there might be something else going on. He tries to hurt himself or others. Self-injury is usually a warning sign that your little one needs additional support.
While there is no hard and fast rule, when a child's usual tantrum lasts longer than 25 minutes, it may be a cause for concern.
To tame toddler tantrums, be firm -- and consistent. Tell them, "No," and then steer them to another room or activity. It's a good idea to communicate before a transition or a change in their routine. Although difficult, try not to lose your temper.