You should not punish or corner your child when they're caught in a lie. This can lead to more serious lies or resentment. Instead, remain calm and explain to them why lying is wrong. You can also provide them with facts.
[color-box] Natural and logical Consequences for lying: What stems naturally from a child lying is that it erodes trust between parent and child. Therefore, this can be easily explained to a child. To extend it further, a logical consequence would be removing freedoms that could erode trust further.
All kids fib from time to time. But when your child tells a whopper, should you punish him, making sure he knows — in no uncertain terms — that lying isn't ever acceptable? No, says psychologist Kristen Eastman, PsyD.
Rather, use very mild punishment (light reprimand, brief loss of privilege, a brief period in time-out). More severe, harsh, or enduring punishments (shouting, taking away something for a week, hitting) are not more effective in actually changing the frequency of lying.
Q: At what age is lying developmentally appropriate? A: It is developmentally appropriate for children to lie when they are as young as 2 or 3 years old. In the beginning, these lies are more wishful thinking — if they say something didn't happen, then it didn't and it will all be ok!
There's no evidence to suggest that people living with ADHD lie more often than those who don't have the condition. But there are many situations in which someone with ADHD might lie as a coping mechanism, to cover up an impulsive behavior that wasn't thought through, or without even realizing it.
Lying can be cognitively depleting, it can increase the risk that people will be punished, it can threaten people's self-worth by preventing them from seeing themselves as “good” people, and it can generally erode trust in society.
Answer and Explanation: Lying is a learned behavior rather than an innate behavior. We know this because small children are still cognitively developing their ability to recognize that other people are different from them complete with inner thoughts and different perspectives.
Around age seven or eight, children not only are capable of deliberately deceiving someone, they also can manage to stick to a false story and to look and sound sincere while doing so. Kids this age tend to lie because they don't want to get in trouble and because they don't want to think of themselves as “bad.”
Children might lie because they're embarrassed, to test limits, or to avoid hurting someone else's feelings; teens, however, are more likely to lie for the sole purpose of deceiving.
In some cases, pathological lying can be a result of childhood trauma, such as neglect or abuse. People who did not get their needs met as children may begin lying as a coping mechanism, in an attempt to get the love and reassurance they crave.
Young children lie out of curiosity, to test limits, to avoid disapproval or punishment, and to get attention. Sometime around the start of grade school, kids will understand that lying is wrong and may lie to get what they want or to cope with social pressure. Punishing your child won't help.
Signs of Lying
Repeating questions before answering them. Speaking in sentence fragments. Failing to provide specific details when a story is challenged. Grooming behaviors such as playing with hair or pressing fingers to lips.
The main reason people lie is low self-esteem. They want to impress, please, and tell someone what they think they want to hear. For example, insecure teenagers often lie to gain social acceptance. Here, parents should emphasize to their children the consequences of lying.
Sometimes it's to protect the liar from being punished, or to protect someone else from punishment. The lie might be to avoid being embarrassed, to hide an awkward situation, or to simply have others think better of the person telling the fib.
Positive consequences include praise, hugs, pats on the back, or other things. Give a negative consequence if your child didn't do what you asked. This lets her know you do not like the choice she made. Ignoring, distraction, time-out, and delay or restriction of privileges are examples of negative consequences.
Overall, the researchers determined that children with autism weren't less likely to tell lies than typically developing children. However, they were less able to do so effectively.
Lying, like other signs and symptoms of the condition, tends to occur because the person with BPD is unable to regulate their feelings and impulses. It's an act borne out of pain and fear. Often, people with BPD even believe their own lies.