"Block their phone numbers and emails. Do not answer any calls from unknown numbers," advises Sarkis. A gaslighter may attempt to communicate with you through social media, so make sure you've blocked them from all your accounts. They will also try to enlist mutual friends in their effort to get back together.
Ignoring a gaslighter could mean you pretend you did not hear what they said and do not engage or respond to them. This could result in an escalation of their attempts at gaslighting you or make them angry if they feel you have bruised their pride. Similarly, they might try to get your attention in other ways.
The best option is to leave and cut off all communication with the gaslighter—go "radio silence." Be prepared for them to try everything in their power to get you back into their clutches. They need attention—and if they aren't getting it from a new relationship, they will come back for you. Keep up no contact.
Often, the best response to gaslighting is to plainly state your needs and boundaries. Sometimes, the safest response to gaslighting can be to leave the situation entirely.
Gaslighting in Abuse Relationships
In many cases, the gaslighter will get defensive about their actions and claim they do it out of love. I only do it because I love you. By saying this, they're making their victim feel as if their love for the gaslighter is less than what they're receiving in return.
It's intentional and designed to make you question your memories and experiences. Toxic people who gaslight instill confusion intended to make others rely on them. Convincing someone to question their reality gives a gaslighter a sense of power and superiority.
Some people who gaslight others are aware of their actions and have even studied how to improve their techniques. A gaslighter who is unaware of their actions continues their behavior because of the "payoff" or "boost" they get from it each time.
Certain mental health conditions such as narcissistic personality disorder and antisocial personality disorder lend themselves to gaslighting as those illnesses give people a distorted view of themselves and others and a propensity toward manipulating others for their own ends by any means necessary, as well as never ...
Narcissistic gaslighting examples of this tactic include suggesting you're “confused,” “mixed up” or “misremembering.” Alternatively, they may take the opposite approach, saying something like, “I have no memory of that” or, “I don't know what you're talking about.”
Some of the most common reasons people gaslight are:
They use it to deflect their personal responsibility. They want to keep a people pleaser partner trying to please. They use it to gain power and control. They have a personality disorder like narcissist, borderline or antisocial personality disorder.
One of the ways that gaslighters/narcissists exert their power through playing the victim. In relationships, gaslighters play the victim in order to manipulate and guilt their partners into doing their will. On a global stage, when gaslighter “plays the role” of a victim, it takes on a different tone.
Intentionality and Malice. Gaslighting is an intentional behaviour directed at diminishing someone's sense of reality or denying their experiences as a way of helping the gaslighter save face/protect self-esteem/maintain the relationship/keep another person in a relationship/win an argument, etc.
“Gaslighters have two signature moves,” she wrote. “They lie with the intent of creating a false reality, and they cut off their victims socially.” They spread gossip, they take credit for other people's work, and they undercut others in furtherance of their own position.
People with high levels of narcissism have the desire to exploit others, which is born out of their disregard for other people and their own sense of entitlement. Exploitative gaslighters use manipulation and deceit to take advantage of others for personal gain.
Refuse to argue and leave the interaction.
It's unlikely that a gaslighter will admit you're right, even if you have proof. That means arguing is a waste of time and will only make you feel worse. Explain your side of things, then change the topic.
When you bring up an important issue or try to stand up for yourself, a gaslighter will almost always get defensive. Gaslighters don't like being challenged or being proved wrong. To maintain control over their victims, a gaslighter will get defensive and find a way to manipulate you into believing you're at fault.
When you confront gaslighters about their behavior, they often change the subject or counter-attack by telling you that it's all your fault or you are the one with the problem.
A gaslighter believes their own lies and is insistent upon them which makes the person question themselves.
Being a perpetrator of gaslighting is treated seriously by authorities and may soon be considered a crime in parts of Australia. Gaslighting is an aspect of coercive control, which is set to be outlawed in NSW and QLD, with other states likely to follow suit.
First, gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse, and abuse should never be tolerated in a relationship. However, life is not as simple as that: Gaslighters erode people's self-esteem and their ability to make decisions. This can mean that making the decision to leave seems almost impossible.
People with personality disorders, such as narcissistic personality disorder or antisocial personality disorder, may use gaslighting as a way to control spouses, children, co-workers, or any other relationship where the person with a character disorder feels vulnerable.