Going no contact might sound vindictive or rude, but it's really the best way to embrace your time apart, which is the whole purpose of the break. "Separation can be very healing," Ann Rosen Spector, Ph. D., a clinical psychologist in Philadelphia, explained to Women's Health.
Don't text them first
This includes texting when you specify you don't want communication during a relationship break. Even if your mate texts you, this doesn't mean that you have to text back, especially if you agreed upon the break rules beforehand. Both of you should respect the stipulations enough to follow them.
Just because you are on a break doesn't mean you have to totally ignore her. But don't constantly text and call her if you aren't looking to end the break. If you want to have a good relationship you should communicate. It is ultimately up to you and your girlfriend to decide what is best for your relationship.
Taking a relationship break may feel scary, but it can be really helpful for your relationship in the long run. To have a successful, healthy break, it's important for you and your partner to communicate clearly with one another and use that time to reflect and consider your vision for the future.
Anything from one week to a month should be enough time for one or both parties to determine whether they should stay together. “You may decide halfway through the agreed upon time that you want to be with that person, but you should respect the time frame,” Edwards says.
You might be wondering: is a break a breakup? The short answer is no, a relationship break doesn't mean you and your partner have called it quits. Taking a break in a relationship means you've agreed to press pause to gain some clarity and reassess what the relationship means to both you and your partner.
If you experienced a respectful, mutual parting, talking to your ex may be a healthy choice. If it was a separation due to abuse, unhealthy patterns, or painful emotions, you might consider staying apart. Because each relationship can be unique, deciding to talk to your ex can be a complex issue.
“It doesn't mean there's an official breakup, just that the couple is pausing the relationship for a certain period of time.” And while taking a break in a relationship might not be right for everybody, if you're feeling like you need a bit of space—it's worth considering.
Having regular communication or even checking in with your partner will only muddy things up. Use this time apart to gain insight into yourself, your partner, and your relationship. And to do that successfully, you'll need space without interruption.
The 3-month rule is a 90-day trial period where a couple “tests out” a relationship to see if they're compatible. During the 90 days, couples learn about each other's likes, dislikes, and possible red flags. At the end of the 3 months, couples discuss if they want to pursue a long-term relationship.
“If [the couple] spend time away with the intention to work on themselves and come back to improve the relationship, it can be useful.” However, if one of you just wants space to grieve the relationship and has no intention of learning new tools to deal with your issues, space won't help anything.
Things You Should Know
On average, it takes men about 8 weeks to miss their ex after a breakup. This can vary depending on the length and intensity of the relationship. You can tell he misses you if he texts or calls frequently, talks to other people about you, and invites you out to do things with him.
Taking a break in a relationship doesn't have to be a precursor to a breakup, but only if you set clear objectives for the time you spend apart, and both commit to improving the relationship. Other times, yes, a break can lead to a permanent break up, if that's what you and your partner decide what's best for you.
Thompson conducted a survey on 3,512 people who used his site, because he wanted to know what percentage of couples actually do get back together. The results showed just 15% of people actually won their ex back, while 14% got back together just to break up again, and 70% never reconnected at all.
If you need a "break" to "figure out" your feelings, chances are your feelings are not that strong. There's a difference between "breaking up" and "a break." "A break" indicates the relationship is off temporarily, with the possibility of getting back together.
"The lion's share of couples who separate never get back together, and a number of those who do reunite won't go the distance," she says. One study found that only 10 percent of couples living together reunite after separating, and only 33 percent of those who do reunite will stay together.
Because the truth is, during no contact with your ex, they will start to miss you no matter what. What they do with that feeling is dependent on their personality. If you were dating an incredibly stubborn person, it might take months before your ex gives in and reaches out.
Usually, the no-contact period must extend for at least 30-60 days. During this time, there should never be calling, no texting and no engagement on social media platforms.
Letting enough time go by that your ex gets over you does exist. This is why we do not want you to sit on your butt and wait for them to text you even after a no contact rule. We encourage you to take control and text them first after the no contact rule.
Any behavior that is different from what has been mutually agreed upon can be considered cheating when you are on a break. And, any actions that violate your partner's trust can also be considered cheating.
But therapists and relationship experts agree that, under the right circumstances, and done the right way, a break can be a healthy way to deal with issues and strengthen a relationship.
Estimates suggest that around 6% to 18% of married couples have separated at some point in their marriage. 2 Sometimes married partners start these uncouplings intending them to be permanent, but what they turn into is an unintentional way of taking a break in the midst of a long-term commitment.