Suggestions on how to help a bereaved person in the first few days include: Contact the bereaved person as soon as possible after their loved one's death. This contact could be a personal visit, telephone call, text message, sympathy card or flowers.
While there is not a how-to handbook on grief (though wouldn't that be useful!), and it's tough to always know the perfect thing to say to support a friend or family member who is grieving, sending a text message may seem like a small gesture, but it goes a long way in letting someone know that they are in your ...
One way to help a grieving friend feel less alone is to simply remind them that you care. Ask how they are doing today. Tell them you're ready for their real answer—fine, terrible, a shrug—without judgement. This lets your friend know they can let their guard down and that you're there for them.
Be reassuring: tell them that it may not seem possible now, but they will feel better. If it's appropriate, share how you dealt with the loss of a loved one. You might say: “I found a way through my grief, and I know you will. You are a strong person, and I am here for you.”
Check in every now and then just to say hello (you may find it helpful to put reminders on your calendar). Most bereaved people find it difficult to reach out and need others to take the initiative.
Judgmental statements
It should go without saying, but there is no world in which judging someone helps them in their grief. Comments like “You should be over it; it's been a year already,” “You look like you need to get more sleep and eat more,” or “I thought you'd be more upset” are never okay.
A: If you're curious about how your friend's loved one died, but you're not close enough to already know or ask in person, then asking is prying. Take your lead from the post itself: If your friend made a simple statement, respond with something short like, “Sorry for your loss, friend.”
Everyone grieves differently, and some people are ready for visitors and outings before others are. After the initial invitation you can simply wait a week or two before reaching out again. If the person is still not ready for social contact, you can always send another Thinking of You card in the following months.
The closer your relationship to the bereaved or the person who died, the sooner you'll want to reach out. If you are a close friend or relative: Call or text immediately, find a time to visit the bereaved at home, and continue to stay in touch on a daily basis.
Simple words are often the best. For example, say: “I'm so sorry for your loss. How can I help?” No matter how unsure you may feel about the support you are offering, what matters most is that you are genuinely concerned and want to help. The bereaved person will likely appreciate your sincere efforts to be supportive.
Be willing to sit in silence.
Don't press if the grieving person doesn't feel like talking. Often, comfort for them comes from simply being in your company. If you can't think of something to say, just offer eye contact, a squeeze of the hand, or a reassuring hug.
Focus on listening.
Try to respect what the bereaved person is choosing to share with you and focus on listening rather than finding out more. Give the bereaved person space to open up if they want to, while also being sensitive if they would rather not take it further.
Check-in regularly and offer to spend time together. We might remember our grieving friend or family around the dead person's birthday or around the holiday season or around Mother's Day or Father's Day.
Overall, it's okay to offer condolences over text, as long as you give thought to finding the right words and how to express your sympathy in an appropriate way. Taking the time to show your support and understanding can help someone who is grieving feel less isolated and more connected with those around them.
Refer to the deceased by name. Encourage the family to plan a wake, funeral and burial (even if cremated), if you are in an appropriate position to do so. Send flowers with a note (see suggestions for notes below) or offer a donation to a charity or an appropriate research organization. Acknowledge the deceased's life.
It is best to think of the decedent's belongings, paperwork, and assets as “frozen in time” on the date of death. No assets or belongings should be removed from their residence. Their vehicle(s) should not be driven. Nothing should be moved great distances, modified, or taken away.
They Know They're Dying
Dying is a natural process that the body has to work at. Just as a woman in labor knows a baby is coming, a dying person may instinctively know death is near. Even if your loved one doesn't discuss their death, they most likely know it is coming.
Healthy grieving means finding a new place in your life for the deceased. You will never forget them, and the goal of healthy grief is not to forget about it, move on, or get over it. The goal is to establish a new relationship with the deceased, one that involves treasuring memories and an enduring connection.
Depression is usually the longest and most difficult stage of grief. Depression can be a long and difficult stage in the grieving process, but it's also when people feel their deepest sadness.
For example, it's normal to feel despair about a death or a job loss yet also feel relief. It's important that you find some way of expressing your grief. Talking, writing, creating art or music, or being physically active are all ways of expressing grief.
a very close friend I would message daily or every other day and call but check to see if they wanted to speak. It so much depends on your pattern of friendship normally, I'd take that as a basis and increase the frequency a lot. You can always just ask her.
I'm sorry for your loss. They are in a better place. You'll feel better soon. I understand how you feel.