Some men feel resentful or frustrated, and then feel guilty about having those negative feelings. These are normal emotions. It may help to share them with others who have “been there.” You'll be surprised to learn that your feelings are pretty common. You'll find yourself gradually adapting to the “dad” role.
Many men and partners experience stress, anxiety or depression during their partner's pregnancy or after their baby is born.
Changes in hormone levels
Some research has shown men whose partners are pregnant may experience hormone changes, such as decreased testosterone and increased estradiol. It's possible these hormonal changes could contribute to many symptoms of Couvade syndrome.
Baby may start to know when their father is touching mom's belly. Babies can sense touch from anyone, but they can also sense when touch (and voice) is familiar. And by 24 weeks into pregnancy, dad can usually feel baby kick – but the exact time varies.
If you are the baby's father or other significant caregiver, here are some things you can do to help you become attached to the unborn baby. Massage the baby bump if the baby's mother is happy for you to do so. Feel the baby kicking as often as you can. Attend ultrasound appointments with the mother.
Dads develop their bond with their baby by communicating, caring and playing (Feldman et al, 2010). As your baby develops with smiles, laughter and babbling, a true two-way relationship starts to develop. It can take on average six months to reach this point but it will happen .
Researchers in Scotland compared fetal responses when pregnant women spoke to their babies or rubbed their bellies. "Overall results suggest that maternal touch of the abdomen was a powerful stimulus, producing a range of fetal behavioural responses," the researchers write.
And babies don't just detect our tension. They are negatively affected by it. It's one more reason to look after your own well-being, and calm down before interacting with your child.
These changes are especially marked among expectant mothers, but recent research suggests that expectant fathers also show reliable changes in hormones, such as testosterone and estradiol, that are thought to support parental care (Edelstein et al., 2015; Gettler, McDade, Feranil, & Kuzawa, 2011).
But one of the biggest reasons men cry more after becoming dads has to do with biology: You're losing testosterone and gaining more prolactin, vasopressin, and oxytocin . Those are neuro-transmitter hormones that help moms create milk for breastfeeding, and promote bonding with baby.
A new study published in the Cerebral Cortex journal has found that men experience extensive remodeling to their brain after the arrival of their baby—shrinking the visual network and growing the default mode network responsible for empathy.
The majority of the fathers (82.4%) felt love for their wife/partner, while a considerable percentage (65.2%) was grateful to their wife/partner. Fathers' feelings about the birth of his child were on positive side as 86.2% were proud of the baby, 90.2% were happy about the baby.
Show affection. Hold hands and give hugs. Help her make changes to her lifestyle. You may decide to give up alcohol and coffee—or cut back—since she can't drink alcohol and may cut back on caffeine.
Research has shown that, during pregnancy, your baby feels what you feel—and with the same intensity. That means if you're crying, your baby feels the same emotion, as if it's their own.
Babies often prefer their primary caregiver
Most babies naturally prefer the parent who's their primary caregiver, the person they count on to meet their most basic and essential needs. This is especially true after 6 months when separation anxiety starts to set in.
For some moms-to-be, constantly touching, patting, rubbing and holding their belly can be soothing. For others, it's a way to feel close to the baby inside. But no matter the reason, rubbing your belly simply makes you feel good.
At around 18 weeks of pregnancy, your unborn baby will start being able to hear sounds in your body like your heartbeat. At 27 to 29 weeks (6 to 7 months), they can hear some sounds outside your body too, like your voice. By the time they are full term, they will be able to hear at about the same level as an adult.
Just like newborns, fetuses spend most of their time sleeping. Indeed, throughout much of the pregnancy, your baby sleeps 90 to 95% of the day. Some of these hours are spent in deep sleep, some in REM sleep, and some in an indeterminate state—a result of their immature brain.
Experts call it paternal postnatal depression (PPND), or paternal perinatal mood and anxiety disorders (PPMADs) because we aren't the ones actually giving birth. It's a form of depression or another mood disorder such as anxiety – not unlike what some moms experience after a new baby arrives.
Dr. Natasha Burgert, a pediatrician practicing in Kansas City, tells Romper that babies can recognize their dad's scent by the third day of life and will be able to tell the difference between different caregivers based on scent, especially if dads participate in hands-on bonding activities and caregiving.
Boys rely on their fathers for guidance, and a model for how to behave in the world and in relationships. Research suggests that positive time spent with their fathers can reduce the likelihood of boys becoming anxious, depressed, or aggressive. Boys also crave warmth, affection, and tenderness from their fathers.
Becoming a Father
Men may feel powerless over their new circumstances. First-time dads may struggle to balance new parenting responsibilities with work and career goals. Remember that you're not alone in your doubts and fears. It's normal to have mixed emotions, so try not to feel guilty about it.