Those with insecure attachment styles, on the other hand, may tend to become needy or clingy in their closest relationships, behave in selfish or manipulative ways when feeling vulnerable, or simply shy away from intimacy altogether.
Insecure attachment is characterized by a lack of trust and a lack of a secure base. People with an insecure style may behave in anxious, ambivalent, or unpredictable ways. When adults with secure attachments look back on their childhood, they usually feel that someone reliable was always available to them.
In basic terms, insecure attachment is a relationship style where the bond is contaminated by fear. This is expressed mainly as reluctance in the relationship and other mixed emotions, such as dependence and rejection.
Possible Causes of Insecure Attachment
On the upbringing side, it's believed that attachment styles may stem from early childhood relationships 2 with caregivers. If a caregiver were inconsistent, emotionally unavailable, or even dangerous, the child would likely develop an insecure attachment style.
Insecure attachment stems from negative experiences during childhood. Insecure attachments can be avoidant, ambivalent, or disorganized. Even though they start in childhood, attachment styles continue to affect how a person relates to the people around them as adults.
Known as disorganized attachment style in adulthood, the fearful avoidant attachment style is thought to be the most difficult. Sadly, this insecure attachment style is often seen in children that have experienced trauma or abuse.
An attachment style describes how people relate to others based on how secure they feel. Fearful avoidant attachment is thought to be the rarest attachment type.
Some studies showed that differences in attachment styles seem to influence both the frequency and the patterns of jealousy expression: individuals with the preoccupied or fearful-avoidant attachment styles more often become jealous and consider rivals as more threatening than those with the secure attachment style [9, ...
In truth, the disorganized attachment style is considered to be the most difficult form of insecure attachment to manage – disorganized adults strongly desire love and acceptance but simultaneously fear that those closest to them will hurt them.
Masculinity is mostly linked to insecure/dismissing attachment, whereas femininity is linked to insecure/fearful-preoccupied attachment.
Yet, attachment disorders and ADHD are strongly linked, meaning that an insecure attachment style has the potential to worsen ADHD symptoms – even in adulthood. However, understanding how attachment can influence ADHD and vice versa can help us to figure out the best ways to manage both conditions.
Healthy attachment occurs when the caregiver provides comfort, affection, and basic needs on a regular basis and with consistency. Poor attachment, inappropriate responses to a baby's distress, lack of affection, abusive behaviors, and the absence of the caregiver can all cause a traumatic experience for the child.
"An individual who has an insecure attachment to another typically feels anxious about the relationship and whether or not their own needs or desires can be met by the other person," holistic psychologist Nicole Lippman-Barile, Ph. D., says. "They may expect the person to abandon them or hurt them in some way."
Although it is never too late to treat and repair attachment issues, the earlier you spot the symptoms of insecure attachment and take steps to repair them, the better. Caught in infancy before they become more serious problems, attachment difficulties are often easy to correct with the right help and support.
Researchers Philip Shaver and Cindy Hazan, who looked at adult relationships through the lens of childhood attachment styles, estimate that approximately 40 percent of people have an insecure attachment style of one type or another.
As the child grows up, this insecurity may pervade relationships they encounter, with them needing constant reassurance. It is possible, however, to change an attachment style from anxious to secure.
There are several different types of therapy proven to support those experiencing insecure attachment, including family therapy, Gestalt therapy, cognitive therapy, and behavioral therapy. Each type can work effectively, depending on the individual presenting with the symptoms.