What Is Being Needy? Neediness is an excessive need for acceptance or affection that results in that person repeatedly becoming overly attached to people and depending on them too much.
Some of the behaviors that could be labeled as needy in a relationship, but in reality point to something else, include: a push for continuous conversation (texting, calling, emailing, social media posting) persistently asking for reaffirmations of love. seeking out compliments.
/ˈnidi/ People who are needy don't have enough of life's necessities, like money, food, water, education, or shelter. Many charities collect money that helps needy people. Truly needy people go without food or warmth, for example, and often need help from others.
The Clingy Takeaways
Ask people if you are “too needy” or intense; clingy behaviors often manifest as a dependency, fear of loneliness, or seeking validation. Clinginess is a signal calling attention to something about yourself you need to fix. Examine your insecurities and work to improve your self-esteem.
An emotionally needy person typically depends much more on the emotional support of others than the average person. They may need constant reassurance and push others away (although this is the opposite of what they want) due to their needy behaviors.
One of the clearest signs of over-neediness can be seen in how you control your partner. The signs could include not listening to their opinions, putting them down when things don't go your way, not allowing them to make choices, and making them feel guilty for your wrongs.
While clingy tendencies may have been “ok” in your previous relationship, being overly needy is generally considered a toxic dating habit.
Minimizing or dismissing someone's needs
"This is where the gaslighter makes the victim's needs feel unimportant," she says. For example, they may say things like, "Why do you keep asking me for things?" or "You are so needy," which are intended to make the other person question and doubt themselves.
Narcissists also deny emotional needs. They won't admit that they're being demanding and needy, because having needs makes them feel dependent and weak. They judge it as needy. Although narcissists don't usually put the needs of others first, some narcissists are actually people-pleasers and can be very generous.
Neediness often stems from anxiety, fear of abandonment, and a desire to be loved and reassured. It can manifest as smothering, controlling, or jealous behaviors that push people away rather than support the connection someone is usually trying to create.
General characteristics of a needy friend:
Every time you are together, you find yourself listening to their problems. You only hear from them when they feel bad. They never really feel better, no matter how anyone tries to help. If you try to talk about yourself, they don't seem to really care.
What you must understand is that not every narcissistic person is the same. An emotionally needy narcissist is typically selfish, emotionally unintelligent, and manipulative. These individuals have no idea who they are, who they want to be, or who they should be.
Whereas a needy man will play at being meek and unimportant in order to get approval from others, the narcissist proclaims his own greatness to get approval from others.
Manipulative people, like narcissists, can hook their victims in with a tactic called "love bombing." It's the stage of the relationship where they identify their target, then make them feel like the most special person in the world by showering them with compliments, affection, and gifts.
Narcissists try to boost their self-confidence by imagining that they're completely self-sufficient and unaffected by feelings. They can't feel vulnerable. If they're hurt or upset, they lash out in anger and become condescending, pointing out the other person's flaws.
It could be divided into four different types: outright lying, manipulation of reality, scapegoating and coercion. Often the experience is a combination of these four types and not just limited to one of them.
“A gaslighter will often make you beg for their forgiveness and apologize profusely for any 'wrong' you committed, even if it's something they did,” Stern says. Sometimes you may not even know what you're apologizing for, other than they're upset and it's your responsibility to calm them down.
The difference between having real needs and being needy is boundaries. Neediness is inventing needs that aren't actually the core of what you desire, but rather created solely to get attention, and usually negative attention. Wanting attention in a relationship is not bad.
We have listed out several reasons behind a man being needy for affection: Rational/irrational jealousy of your other male friends, acquaintances, and colleagues. Not having a life or social circle of his own which makes his world revolve around you. Codependency or other kinds of insecure attachment styles.
It all depends on what your individual needs are. If you need him more than he is comfortable with, you are too needy to him. You would not be considered too needy to someone who enjoys or appreciates being needed to that extent. If he is dismissive or neglectful of your emotions, he is emotionally neglectful to you.
To avoid getting stuck in this neediness, practice being calm and clear. Look beyond the anger and defensiveness. Approach your partner from deeper emotions and try writing down what you really need. If you're hurt because you're lonely, then tell your partner directly that you need some time together.
Since affection is the primary basis on which women bond, not having affection in their relationships makes women feel disconnected and lonely. For a woman, a lonely relationship is one where she feels unseen, unheard, and invalidated.