They frequently try to outdo or one-up you
If you share something positive from your life, a friend dealing with jealousy might respond by sharing something similar, only bigger or better. In other words, you may notice a pattern of behavior where they not only imitate you, but also try to go one step farther.
Signs that you might be jealous are: You don't trust your partner when you're not together. You get concerned when they mention other people. You constantly check their social media to see what they're doing.
Jealous people are obsessed with what you have – and they want it. For jealous individuals, it is like a game of “who wore it better.” Expect those people to imitate you in many different ways. If you often get all the attention, they will imitate your fashion style and add their own little flair to it.
Jealous people usually are insecure and have low self-esteem. Their insecurity can manifest in many different ways. Jealousy is very unhealthy and can affect the person who harbors jealousy as well as the person whom someone envies. It can scar him or her psychologically.
Fake friends will often make backhanded compliments, quiet judgments, or disapproving looks in your direction. Sometimes, these behaviors are not outright or obvious. Still, they can leave you feeling betrayed and hurt.
Consider using “I” statements, rather than “you” statements. For example: Say, “I feel jealous when I see you do X, and I wanted to talk about that” rather than “You make me really jealous when you do X.” Say, “I want to share some jealous feelings I've been having,” rather than, “You're making me so jealous lately!”
Jealousy may be driven by low self-esteem or a poor self-image. If you don't feel attractive and confident, it can be hard to truly believe that your partner loves and values you. Other times, jealousy can be caused by unrealistic expectations about the relationship.
People envy you because you're living the dream. They resent you for your opportunities and accomplishments and feel like they can't compete with you. They might also feel like they don't have what it takes to be as successful as you. Such people love to stick their nose in everything you do and try to learn from you.
If someone is not fond of you, they may cross their arms when speaking to you, look away when you're talking, purse their lips or make other unpleasant faces. They may also lean away from you when talking or take a step back if you get too close.
Fake friends tend to only reach out or get together when they want or need something from you, Leeds explains. Perhaps one day you're surprised they texted you to ask how you are, only for them to tell you the next day they applied to an opening at your job and want you to put in a good word for them.
While a friend might use relaxed language, share a few jokes, or otherwise interact in a light-hearted manner, a person that doesn't consider you their friend may sound more official or formal, giving clipped responses when you meet up with them in person or otherwise engage them in conversation.
Some people will choose not to like you based on what they see on the outside: your clothing, attractiveness, etc. You don't meet their “standards,” so they write you off. Solution: It's harder to be kind to those who treat you as less of a person because of what they see.
Fake people tend to manipulate and claw their way to the top by putting others down. Belittling the people around them bolsters their own sense of self and helps them feel less threatened by others. For example, a fake person might give a co-worker a back-handed compliment instead of saying something genuinely nice.
There is not one root cause for someone's jealous behaviors or feelings, but there are a few reasons why someone might feel this way, including insecurity, past history, or fear of loss. Jealousy can be triggered by these and might create tensions within your relationships.
Sometimes feeling a twinge of jealousy is a sign there's something you need to work on in a relationship or some aspect of that relationship isn't going how you want it to be going. But, unchecked, consuming jealousy can be toxic and destroy relationships.
In the real world, making your ex jealous is a problematic behavior that shouldn't be idolized or mimicked. According to psychodynamic therapist Claire McRitchie, the behavior is actually a form of control and self-protection, whether or not the person exhibiting it knows this, and ultimately, it's not healthy.