“ You're *#@! % stupid. ” “ I wish you were never born. ” “ No one is ever going to love you, you're so *#@! % fat and ugly. ” “ You never get anything right. ” “ You're worthless. ” These are mean and degrading things to say to someone. They hurt.
They can damage or destroy relationships. Hurtful words are the quickest way to harm relationships. Whether you intend it or not, hurtful words may communicate that you don't care about the other person, their feelings, hopes, and dreams.
Hurtful words lacerate the heart. Although it may heal over time, scars will never completely disappear. Well chosen words create pain that lasts longer than a flogging.
Often, people will utter hurtful words to others with no motive. Or, their motive could be simply to relieve their own pain. Remaining silent or strong-willed can be hard to do when one is taken by surprise by hurtful words.
Kids often spout off hurtful words like these when they have a problem they don't know how to solve, whether they're angry, stressed, or dealing with feelings about something bad that happened at school that day.
Instead, you just need to kick off your retraction with something like, “I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say that,” or “I'm sorry, that came out wrong.” Statements like that take ownership of your mistake right out of the way. And, remember to take note of those two key words: I'm sorry.
“ You're *#@! % stupid. ” “ I wish you were never born. ” “ No one is ever going to love you, you're so *#@! % fat and ugly. ” “ You never get anything right. ” “ You're worthless. ” These are mean and degrading things to say to someone.
New research shows that the brain's pain matrix gets activated by pain-related words. When people hear or read words such as "plaguing," "tormenting" and "grueling," the section of the brain that retains memories of painful experiences is triggered.
With words, we have something to direct our emotions toward. The words tend to make things immediately personal. When we take things personal, we feel everything deeper. It feels like our inner self is being attacked.
Generally children are strong enough that occasional hurtful or negative comments have no lasting impact. However, the more often we communicate negative messages to children through our words and actions, the more they will come to believe them.
Words do hurt and as recent research suggests, they can have more serious and lasting consequences than physical violence.
Briefly describe what happened that felt hurtful or disrespectful. Say, “When I was talking, you (said or did this).” Don't go into a long story about what occurred or try to soften the blow by saying you know they didn't mean to be offensive. One sentence that describes your experience of their behavior is enough.
1 unbearable, insufferable, unendurable, agonizing, racking.
The Pain of Hurt Feelings
When a person's feelings are hurt, the area of the brain responsible for the affective component of pain is activated. That is, they experience the psychological distress of pain. One of the most common experiences that hurts one's feelings is rejection.
Depression
It really is the worst feeling, but it's also motivated some great art over the years.
: unhappiness or sadness caused by someone's words or actions.
Your child saying "I hate you" is common and doesn't mean you're a bad parent or that they don't love you. Instead, they're simply struggling with big feelings. You can help by keeping calm and providing coaching on emotional regulation.