Narcissistic Parental Alienation syndrome refers to the process of psychological manipulation of a child by a parent to show fear, disrespect, or hostility towards the other parent. Very often, the child can't provide logical reasoning for the difference in their behaviour towards both parents.
Target parents may experience both emotional (e.g., fear, guilt) and physical (e.g., nightmares, illness) responses to the alienation. Parental alienation can also cause challenges in relationships with other family members.
Keeping a child away from the other parent can backfire in serious and permanent ways. If the other parent feels that the situation will not resolve itself, they have the legal right to bring the matter before the court to enforce the existing court order regarding the parenting plan and their visitation rights.
Parental alienation is a strategy whereby one parent intentionally displays to the child unjustified negativity aimed at the other parent. The purpose of this strategy is to damage the child's relationship with the other parent and to turn the child's emotions against that other parent.
A narcissistic parent will often abuse the normal parental role of guiding their children and being the primary decision maker in the child's life, becoming overly possessive and controlling. This possessiveness and excessive control disempowers the child; the parent sees the child simply as an extension of themselves.
Narcissistic parents maintain their power by triangulating, or playing favorites. They may have a golden child who they compliment excessively, for example, while speaking badly about another child in the family. This can make children feel uncomfortable, disloyal and psychologically unsafe.
A narcissistic mother may feel entitled or self-important, seek admiration from others, believe she is above others, lack empathy, exploit her children, put others down, experience hypersensitivity to criticism, believe she deserves special treatment, and worst of all, maybe naïve to the damage she is causing.
The alienating parent may remove from the house all photographs and similar mementos related to the targeted parent or refuse to talk about the targeted parent. The alienating parent may question the children about the targeted parent and express their disapproval about some behavior.
Alienated children typically appear rude, ungrateful, spiteful, and cold toward the targeted parent, and they appear to be impervious to feelings of guilt about their harsh treatment. Gratitude for gifts, favors, or child support provided by the targeted parent is nonexistent.
The child refuses to visit or spend time with the target parent. The child's reasons for not wanting a relationship with the target parent are primarily based on what the alienating parent tells the child. The child feels no guilt about his/her behavior toward the target parent and will not forgive past indiscretions.
In a case involving parental alienation, the court will pay extra attention to what drives a child's negative actions toward a parent. The behavior might be based on experience, or it could be unfounded and imprinted by the alienator. This is where the documented evidence comes into play.
There is often a perception in family law that parental alienation is not recognised by the Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia. While the term parental alienation is not specified or defined in the Family Law Act 1975 (Cth), it can and has been recognised in the Courts.
Signs of a father being a narcissist include if he is self-centered, vain, does not take criticism well, demands perfection, and goes into rages. Daughters of narcissistic fathers may feel they never get enough attention. Sons of narcissistic dads may feel they can never measure up.
“Narcissistic parents beget kids with a whole host of psychological problems,” Durvasula says. These problems include higher than average rates of depression and anxiety, lack of self-regulation, eating disorders, low self-esteem, an impaired sense of self, substance abuse and perfectionism.
Narcissistic personality disorder affects more males than females, and it often begins in the teens or early adulthood. Some children may show traits of narcissism, but this is often typical for their age and doesn't mean they'll go on to develop narcissistic personality disorder.
Children of narcissists often end up in relationships with people who have narcissistic traits. These children feel like they can never be good enough for their partner or themselves, so they become codependent on the other person to make them happy and validate their self-worth.
Effects of Being Raised by Narcissists
Brunell says, “The child typically suffers from low psychological well-being, such as low self-esteem, depression, and anxiety. They tend to try to please others and have poor ability to set boundaries or to say no to people's requests.
If parental alienation does occur, it is usually between the ages of 9 to 18 years, and the father is more often than not the rejected parent. The following are some examples of typical behaviors of a child experiencing parental alienation.
By age three they are emotionally conditioned in this impotent role. They go through life expecting little of themselves. Instead they are skilled at expecting and manipulating others to gratify them by meeting their needs, desires, and expectations.
There are only three (3) ways you can prove in court your child has been coached, so please take heed: One parent admits in her/his deposition or at hearing/trial, or to CPS, or another mandated reporter, s/he coached the child to exact revenge against the other.