Popular culture imagines they are forgotten, rebellious, or unable to measure up to their older or younger siblings. In fact, stereotypes often tell us that middle children aren't as smart, connected to the family, capable as leaders, or likely to follow rules as their older or younger siblings.
To compensate for a perceived lack of attention, middle children may either act rebellious or try to people-please. Their behavior may be partially based on their older sibling's personality.
“Middle child: the one who secretly keeps the family from falling apart.”
When primary caregiver differentiates between their children, it gets very frustrating for the middle child. Every child has a need of being loved, cared by their parents, fail to get these basic needs fulfilled increase frustration, anger and aggressiveness in children.
Characteristics of a Middle Child
They're good at being mediators and want fairness in situations. They're also trustworthy friends and work well as team members. Not as family-oriented as their siblings. They may have a stronger sense of not belonging than their siblings do.
The first born may experience certain emotions differently than the middle and youngest child or visa versa. According to Adler, the first born is more susceptible to depression because of high expectations of parents and suddenly losing the attention due to another sibling being born.
First-born kids tend to be leaders, like CEOS and founders, and are more likely to achieve traditional success. Middle-born children often embody a mix of the traits of older and younger siblings, and they're very relationship-focused.
Middle children are less likely to be Introverts (-5.74%) and more likely to be Extraverts (+5.39%). Youngest children are very slightly more likely to be Introverts (+1.13%) than they are Extraverts (-1.07%).
Middle children are more independent as they gain confidence. Middle children typically have more freedom and less pressure growing up. Sometimes they can even get away with more things as a kid. This, over time, leads to them developing more independence and confidence, according to Schumann.
Compared to their siblings, middle children may be much more agreeable and easygoing in life. They are more extroverted, as well. They don't have to lead the pack, and they don't get the “babying” that their younger siblings do. This allows them a bit more freedom to be themselves.
Children in this age group might: Show rapid development of mental skills. Learn better ways to describe experiences and talk about thoughts and feelings. Have less focus on one's self and more concern for others.
Emotional/Social Changes
Children in this age group might: Start to form stronger, more complex friendships and peer relationships. It becomes more emotionally important to have friends, especially of the same sex. Experience more peer pressure.
As the middle child, you're cooperative, independent, and empathetic. At the same time, you can be quite rebellious, doing things not expected of you. Dating you is like being dealt a wild card — it's hard to predict how the ride will turn out to be.
Younger siblings may be especially vulnerable to trauma because they are in an earlier developmental stage than the rest of the family. While older siblings and parents will be much more equipped to cope with the stress, the youngest child may feel left behind or not understand how to handle their emotions.
Many previous studies looked into this relationship. There is evidence that the first born children experience more stress than their younger siblings. Weiss (1970), conducted a study to assess the relation between birth order and anxiety.
Researchers have found a correlation between risk-taking and being the last-born sibling.
Middle children tend to be more satisfied with marriage in general, but they seem to pair best with spouses who are the youngest in their family. Similar to two people marrying who are the oldest child in their respective families, two middle children marriages has its problems.
Birth order and introversion-extraversion☆
A two-way analysis of variance indicated that first borns were more introverted than either middle-horns or last-horns, with no difference between the latter two groups.
The “middle child syndrome” cliché comes from Adlerian birth order theory. According to Adler, middle children often feel squeezed between their older and younger siblings. They feel like they've been robbed of any position of significance within the family. Middle children can become competitive or rebellious.
They tend to feel left out
“They serve no clear family function. Thus, they may receive less attention from parents and oftentimes feel ignored and neglected.” In the eyes of the middle child, oldest siblings reap all the privileges and the babies get away with everything and need so much help.
Middle children are easygoing
Being good mediators also helps middles compromise—meaning they are more likely to go with the flow rather than act stubborn of contentious, Guarino says. Plus, some parents may have more relaxed parenting styles by the time the second kid comes around.