The natural folds in abandonment's grief process fall into five universal stages: Shattering, Withdrawal, Internalizing, Rage, and Lifting. These stages overlap one another as part of one inexorable process of grief and recovery.
Shattering, Withdrawal, Internalizing, Rage, and Lifting. Each of these stages relate to different aspects of human functioning and trigger different emotional responses. The first letter of each of these words spell SWIRL, a great description of the cyclonic nature of the intensity of healing abandonment.
Abandonment issues are a form of anxiety that occurs when an individual has a strong fear of losing loved ones. People with abandonment issues can have difficulties in relationships. They may exhibit symptoms such as codependency, clinginess, or manipulative behavior.
Abandonment leads to anxiety and difficulty trusting people
Chronic childhood abandonment can create a generalized feeling of insecurity — a belief that the world isn't safe and people aren't dependable. This can cause us to anticipate and fear abandonment, rejection, and betrayal in our adult relationships.
What is Abandonment Trauma? Abandonment trauma can be defined as the behavior and emotional response that someone has as a result of experiencing severe neglect or harm in the form of abandonment. It can happen at any time in life and feeling physically or emotionally neglected can be deeply painful.
Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). CBT helps increase consciousness of feelings about certain life events. It may help a person with abandonment issues shift how they perceive events that cause fear. They may then restructure how they think about these events.
Experiencing abuse, neglect, or a traumatic loss of a loved one is the most common cause of abandonment issues, especially when these occur in early childhood. It is generally believed that the first year of life is especially impactful to a child's development and that a child's attachment style is formed by age five.
Borderline personality disorder is characterized by a pervasive pattern of instability in relationships, self-image, moods, and behavior and hypersensitivity to possible rejection and abandonment. People with borderline personality disorder fear rejection and abandonment, partly because they do not want to be alone.
People experiencing emotional abandonment may feel at a loss. They may feel like they have been cut off from a crucial source of sustenance or feel withdrawn, either suddenly or through a process of erosion. Emotional abandonment can manifest through loss or separation from a loved one.
Self-Neglect and Self-Destructive Behaviors
Women with childhood abandonment wounds will have episodes of neglecting themselves, taking care of everyone and anyone but themselves. They may also act out, drink too much, take unnecessary risks or throw caution to the wind in a way that is clearly self-harming.
Abandonment can cause deep attachment wounds, significantly affecting many aspects of life including our subsequent relationships. Studies also show that experiences of abandonment, particularly in childhood, are correlated with poor mental health later in life. But it is possible to heal from abandonment issues.
Abandonment trauma refers to the intense emotional response and related behaviors that being neglected, emotionally or physically, can have on you, regardless of age. Significant abandonment incidents can cause you a great deal of emotional pain.
Abandonment is a feeling of disconnectedness, rejection, and neediness. The aftermath of this type of trauma generates a looming fear of not only losing connection with the people you love, but being forced to fend for yourself.
If your feelings are hurt, you feel betrayed, abandoned, or rejected, and your partner doesnt care or minimizes them, thats a red flag. You should also be wary if you notice a pattern of lying or half-truths about other issues.
An anxious attachment style may manifest in fear of abandonment and a need for validation and constant reassurance from your loved one. It's typically caused by an unpredictable primary caregiver when you were a child.
Some children experience what is called “abandoned child syndrome.” This may take place after the loss of a parent or caregiver. It can also develop due to physical or emotional abandonment by a parent. Symptoms may show as isolation, low self-worth, and unhealthy coping mechanisms like eating issues or addiction.
Wife Abandonment Syndrome is a pattern of behavior on the part of a husband who leaves his wife out-of-the-blue from what she believed was a happy marriage. Following his sudden departure, he replaces the caring he'd typically shown her with anger and aggression.
Common signs of abandonment issues include: Giving too much or being overly eager to please. Jealousy in your relationship or of others. Trouble trusting your partner's intentions.
Some Common Causes of Abandonment Issues
Mothers abandon their children by: Being neglectful and not invested in their child's life. Being absent from home frequently or not being there for big events. Passing away and leaving their children as orphans or in the care of a single remaining parent.