Common causes for breakups include personality differences, lack of time spent together, infidelity, lack of positive interactions between the couple, low sexual satisfaction, and low overall relationship satisfaction. Ending a relationship is one of the most difficult things we have to do.
The likelihood of a breakup jumps down as the second and again the third years of a relationship pass. But the fourth year of a couple's life is just as likely as the third to end in departure. It's only after a couple reaches the 5th year of their relationship that the likelihood of break up falls sharply.
Personality Changes. Personality changes are a huge factor in the break up of otherwise happy couples. Usually both couples start off on the same page, and then a few years later one partner is getting a promotion and going to bed early, and the other is still going out all the time.
If a relationship ends abruptly, often, one person has fallen out of love. That doesn't mean the individual never loved you. There could have been rough patches causing a mate to develop a different perspective, pushing them away from the relationship.
It can be devastating when “perfect” couples break up because it causes us to believe dating is hopeless. However, the reality is that no one is perfect and there are often logical reasons that even the seemingly happiest of couples call it quits sometimes.
Dating coach Renee Slansky agrees December can be a tricky time for couples. “We've been almost mentally convinced the end of the year could also signal an end of a relationship and time for a fresh start,” she says.
While it is established that about half of all marriages end in divorce, it is commonly assumed that the breakups are initiated by both genders equally. In fact, it is surprising to most people that women are actually more likely to end their marriages than men.
The death of a future you imagined for yourself with your ex, one that you probably imagined together, can be one of the most difficult things to come to terms with after a break-up. It makes your present that much harder to get through (see above). It's OK to mourn and grieve the loss of that future.
There's No Emotional Connection
One of the key signs your relationship is ending is that you are no longer vulnerable and open with your partner. A cornerstone of happy, healthy relationships is that both partners feel comfortable being truly open to sharing thoughts and opinions with one another.
A whopping 72.4% said they they usually break up "in person," while only 5.6% said they "avoid the conversation" and let the relationship just fade. And when it comes to being dumped? About 55% of 25- to 34-year-olds said they've been broken up with in person.
Third and Fifth Year
Many couples who feel overwhelmed during this stage may contemplate getting a divorce. Almost 20% of divorces happened during the first five years.
Men who move on faster may also be good at compartmentalizing, meaning they can just put their old relationship in the past and look at a new dating experiences for what they are—something new and different. And, she says, men may also be better about making sex just be about sex, rather than something emotional.
Relationship Destroyer #1: Keeping Your Attention on What's Wrong. Many people habitually keep their attention on everything negative that their partner does. By focusing on what's wrong, we create thinking habits that generate a sense of unrest and dissatisfaction within ourselves and the relationship.
When looking at the timeline of breakups, many sites refer to a “study” that's actually a consumer poll a market research company conducted on behalf of Yelp. The poll's results suggest it takes an average of about 3.5 months to heal, while recovering after divorce might take closer to 1.5 years, if not longer.
Studies suggest that most people start to feel better around three months post-breakup. One study, which evaluated 155 undergraduates who'd been through breakups in the last six months, found that 71 percent start to feel significantly better around the 11-week mark, or around three months.
If your partner makes you angry, miserable, or bored often and if it is very hard for you to explain the reasons why you still love this person, it's an obvious sign that you should go your own path. If you feel suffocated in a relationship and if the negatives overshadow the positives, it's time to move on.
But therapists and relationship experts agree that, under the right circumstances, and done the right way, a break can be a healthy way to deal with issues and strengthen a relationship. If it is not meant to be, it can also be a way to end the relationship in a positive way that lets you retain your friendship.
Although ending a relationship can be painful, a separation can give a couple space to work on personal issues that have been harming the relationship. 'It can help individuals reassess their priorities, helping them to know more about what they would like to get out of a relationship,' says Fredrickson.
According to much research, about 40 to 50 percent of couples get back together after a breakup. While this is positive, many factors determine the chances of getting back together after a breakup. To begin with, most people get back together with their ex because they still harbor some feelings for them.
Some chalk it up to evolved differences, a slow growing apart, or sheer familiarity. The wave of “deadness” that can submerge a relationship after the first thrilling months or years have caused many couples to lose hope, and even look elsewhere for the excitement of newfound intimacy.