Common causes of family conflict
Birth of a baby. Birth of other children. A child going to school. A child becoming a young person.
Finally, in a conflicted co-parenting relationship, there is a high degree of conflict and little to no cooperation between parents. In these relationships, one or both parents utilize these situations to disparage the other parent and attempt to align the child often at the expense of the best interest of their child.
Characteristics of High Conflict Parents
Believe that the other parent doesn't deserve to exist, much less have a part in their child's life. Have become emotionally abusive and destructive to their child. Lack insight into the negative impact of their behavior.
For example: you are in a grocery store and you come down harshly on your child's behavior because you feel humiliated in front of others. Instead of trying to understand the meaning of your child's behavior, you unconsciously respond to the shame you feel in public of not being able to control your child.
Family conflict refers to active opposition between family members. Because of the nature of family relationships, it can take a wide variety of forms, including verbal, physical, sexual, financial, or psychological.
Other causes of family fighting can be differences in opinions, poor communication, changes in the family (such as a new baby or divorce), sibling rivalry or discipline issues. Also remember that, as your child moves through their teenage years, they're still learning the life skills that they will need for adult life.
One of the hardest parts about co-parenting is understanding that missing your child is normal when they are with their other parent. My family still struggles with this concept, and we have been doing this for over a decade.
In most cases, manipulative parents refer to parents who use covert psychological methods to control the child's activities and behavior in such a way as to prevent the child from becoming an independent adult apart from their control.
People with controlling personalities are often: Fault finders: Everything will be your fault when co-parenting with this person. Intimidators: Unless you agree to their way, they will try to intimidate you into submission. Criticizers: They have no problem criticizing everything you do, even in front of your kids.
In general, conflict increases in early adolescence, reaches its height in mid-adolescence (ages 14-16), and declines in late adolescence (ages 17-18). Many of the changes that define adolescence can lead to conflict in parent-adolescent relationships.
There are five main causes of conflict: information conflicts, values conflicts, interest conflicts, relationship conflicts, and structural conflicts.
In the context of a divorce or custody case, gaslighting often refers to a parent who manipulates others (family, friends, neighbors, co-workers, police, judges, lawyers, child protective services, and the court system itself) into questioning the sanity of the targeted parent.
If your parenting partner is narcissist, they may ignore, push, or test your boundaries. Or they might parent with less structure, empathy, or respect than you'd like. They often get angry when you give them feedback or criticism. It can be hard to reach compromises. Their negativity could wear you down.
Healthy co-parenting involves two parents who are not together raising their child (or children) jointly to ensure they have a safe and loving environment to grow up in.
The short-term answer is usually yes. Children thrive in predictable, secure families with two parents who love them and love each other. Separation is unsettling, stressful, and destabilizing unless there is parental abuse or conflict. In the long term, however, divorce can lead to happier outcomes for children.
Psychologists and experts agree that kids with an uninvolved or neglectful parent generally have the most negative outcomes. A neglectful mother is not simply a parent who gives a child more freedom or less face-time. Negligent parents neglect their other duties as parents, too.