Love bombing is a controlling and manipulative tactic most often used by narcissists and abusive people. They seek to quickly obtain affection and attention before tearing their victims down. They may appear charming and exciting in the beginning, but this usually fades away and is replaced with emotional abuse.
Love bombing is commonly associated with narcissism. People with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) see themselves as special and deserving of admiration. They feel entitled and disrespect the needs of others. This does not stem from self-love but rather the fear of being undesired.
Why Do People Love Bomb? Many love bombers are narcissists who use their behavior as a manipulative tactic to get what they want: you. “The psychological reasoning behind love bombing is, 'I need to get you to trust me,'” says Peykar. “'I need you to keep your eye on me and not somebody else.
Although anyone can do it, love bombing is most often associated with people who have an anxious or insecure attachment style or narcissistic personality disorder (NPD).
Not all grand displays of love are love bombing. When it's a genuine connection, you'll likely feel more positive and receptive to the grand gestures, whereas love bombing is intense and makes you feel uncomfortable — which isn't a sign of a healthy relationship.
Contrary to the popular assumption, not all love-bombing is calculated or intended to be harmful. The behavior ranges from being something that is relatively innocent albeit naïve, to being emotionally devastating or even life-threatening, such as when carried out by leaders of cults.
Love bombing is a controlling and manipulative tactic most often used by narcissists and abusive people. They seek to quickly obtain affection and attention before tearing their victims down. They may appear charming and exciting in the beginning, but this usually fades away and is replaced with emotional abuse.
While anyone can display love bombing tendencies, this type of emotional tactic is often associated with narcissism, particularly narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). According to Simonian, it's important to differentiate between narcissistic personality traits and NPD when it comes to love bombing.
Most attachment specialists believe that the disorganized attachment style is the most difficult of the three insecure attachment styles to treat because it incorporates both the anxious and the avoidant styles.
"Often the partner being love bombed will act out in desperation to return to the pedestal they were once on," she says. "This is a cycle that can devolve with each go around, leaving the victim of love bombing more and more depleted, and more dependent on the love bomber for self-esteem and a sense of stability."
Love bombing is a term used to describe a pattern of behaviors frequently seen in people with borderline personality disorder (BPD) and narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). Borderline love bombing uses demonstrations of affection and emotion to catch and keep someone's interest.
To determine whether it is love-bombing or a harmless rush of excitement, gently indicate to the person that you are not ready for such extravagant gestures so early in your relationship. You can politely refuse by saying, “This is very sweet, but I think it's a little too soon for me.”
When the love bombing phase ends, narcissists will begin the devaluation phase, which is often characterized as abusive, manipulative, devaluing, invalidating, degrading, confusing, dehumanizing, and inconsistent. Experiencing this phase can destroy your self-esteem, sense of self, and core values.
Love bombing is an emotional manipulation method that often points to the beginning of an unhealthy, toxic, or abusive relationship. Someone who uses this tactic usually does so to quickly gain the favor of a potential partner so they can more quickly and easily control them.
Love bombing may not always come from a manipulative/abusive place but it should be viewed as a red flag. Affection, gifts, words of affirmation…. of all these behaviors can feel fantastic when it's in the right context of a relationship and the other person is comfortable with those actions.
To recover from being love bombed, experts usually suggest that the victim cut off contact with the offending person; often, maintaining connection after a breakup can lead to the idealization-devaluation cycle starting again.
Individuals high in anxious attachment are more likely to engage in emotional manipulation and other harmful behaviors intended to prevent a partner from leaving the relationship, which in turn is linked to reduced relationship satisfaction, according to new research published in Evolutionary Behavioral Sciences.
Some studies showed that differences in attachment styles seem to influence both the frequency and the patterns of jealousy expression: individuals with the preoccupied or fearful-avoidant attachment styles more often become jealous and consider rivals as more threatening than those with the secure attachment style [9, ...
Fearful-Avoidant, aka Disorganized Attachment
The fearful-avoidant attachment style is the rarest, and "develops when the child's caregivers — the only source of safety — become a source of fear," according to the Attachment Project, an attachment style education site.
In fact, narcissists are often attracted to strong, confident, and self-assured women. While this may seem counterintuitive, it is important to realize that the narcissistic traits of grandiosity and confidence are really a mask for deep insecurity.
Generally, love bombing will last for a few weeks to a few months. Love bombers tend to continue until the person is either sufficiently seduced or makes it clear they won't succumb to their efforts. Many people will see the exaggerated gestures and declarations as a red flag and get out.
Signs a Narcissist Loves You
Their actions will show you. They will treat you with respect. They will listen to your feelings. They will respect your boundaries.
The four stages of the narcissistic abuse cycle are: Idealization, Devaluation, Repetition, and Discard. In this cycle, a narcissistic partner may love-bomb you, devalue your sense of self over time, repeat the pattern, and eventually, discard you and/or the relationship.