Jealous friends are often driven by insecurity, fear, animosity, or anger. Also, they are triggered by low self-esteem and a lack of confidence. Society often compares friends based on their careers, which may inculcate this feeling of jealousy among the less successful.
There is not one root cause for someone's jealous behaviors or feelings, but there are a few reasons why someone might feel this way, including insecurity, past history, or fear of loss. Jealousy can be triggered by these and might create tensions within your relationships.
Jealousy is often rooted in insecurities and fears that a person may not even realize they have. These could include fear of oversimplification, fear of inadequacy, fear of abandonment, fear of being replaced, and fear of being judged.
It's totally normal to experience jealousy in any close relationship, including friendships. It's usually related to our own fears or insecurities, such as the fear of being replaced, abandoned, or betrayed. These negative thoughts can lead to stronger emotions like anger, anxiety and sadness.
Just like you can lose a romantic partner to another person, “friends can also lose their slot in the best friend hierarchy,” said Jaimie Krems, a friendship researcher and assistant professor of psychology at Oklahoma State University. This fear of being replaced is often borne out of jealousy, Dr. Krems said.
It can reflect our own sense of inner insecurity and insufficient sense of self-worth. Jealousy of others' happiness and healthy relationships also can hold us back from fully engaging in relationships with people for whom we may care deeply.
Jealous people usually are insecure and have low self-esteem. Their insecurity can manifest in many different ways. Jealousy is very unhealthy and can affect the person who harbors jealousy as well as the person whom someone envies. It can scar him or her psychologically.
“Studies from around the world have reported that men are more jealous of sexual infidelity than emotional infidelity,” Nicholson explains. “And women are the opposite — they're more jealous of emotional cheating than sexual cheating.”
They're never around in difficult times
So, being too busy, citing excuses, or flaking out on you every time you need help or support is one of the unmistakable signs your friend doesn't truly care about you.
You give more than you take.
At times, one person may need more than the other. But if a friend is constantly a taker and rarely a giver, it's not a balanced friendship. If you're always there for them but they don't do the same for you, it may be a sign to move on.
Envious people tend to feel hostile, resentful, angry and irritable. Such individuals are also less likely to feel grateful about their positive traits and their circumstances. Envy is also related to depression, anxiety, the development of prejudice, and personal unhappiness.
Friend poaching (sometimes called social poaching) is the phenomenon of introducing two of your friends to each other and as a result, the two friends form a connection, independent of you, leaving you behind in the proverbial dust.
Everyone experiences jealousy at some point, but the emotion can become unhealthy and negatively impact their relationships. It can range in intensity. When it's severe, irrational jealousy can lead to distrust, paranoia, abuse, or even physical violence.
Sometimes feeling a twinge of jealousy is a sign there's something you need to work on in a relationship or some aspect of that relationship isn't going how you want it to be going. But, unchecked, consuming jealousy can be toxic and destroy relationships.
While jealousy can be a sign of insecurity, this isn't always the case. A variety of situations can also cause insecurity. For example, criticism can lead to feelings of insecurity or inadequacy for some people.
Jealousy may be driven by low self-esteem or a poor self-image. If you don't feel attractive and confident, it can be hard to truly believe that your partner loves and values you. Other times, jealousy can be caused by unrealistic expectations about the relationship.
Psychologists generally agree that jealousy is a dis- turbing experience that combines the emotions of anger, anxiety, betrayal, and hurt when one feels that a valued relationship is threatened by a third party.
Unhealthy jealous behavior happens when we indulge that feeling and act impulsively from a place of suspicion and insecurity. When insecurity in our relationships run rampant, jealousy can rapidly grow into paranoia and obsession and threaten to destroy the very relationship we're most afraid to lose.