Losing a parent or guardian during childhood can create a lasting fear of abandonment. Research shows that abandonment trauma can occur after the death of a caregiver. Similarly, when a parent has a serious illness, it can lead to these fears as well, even if they ultimately survive.
Causes of Abandonment Disorder
PTSD of abandonment stems from losses and disconnections in early childhood, such as: A parent who is emotionally unavailable. Childhood neglect due to substance abuse, such as alcoholism or drug abuse. Mental illness, such as depression, in a parent or caregiver.
Abandonment issues stem from a fear of loneliness, which can be a phobia or a form of anxiety. These issues can affect your relationships and often stem from a childhood loss. Other factors that turn loss into abandonment issues include environmental and medical factors, genetics, and brain chemistry.
Fear of abandonment is a form of anxiety and often begins in childhood due to traumatic loss. Abandonment issues can also significantly affect a person's life and relationships.
Fear of abandonment can come from an anxious attachment style or early childhood trauma. It is also a feature of some mental health conditions, such as borderline personality disorder (BPD).
Borderline personality disorder is characterized by a pervasive pattern of instability in relationships, self-image, moods, and behavior and hypersensitivity to possible rejection and abandonment. People with borderline personality disorder fear rejection and abandonment, partly because they do not want to be alone.
Abandonment trauma, also known as PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) of abandonment, is caused by experiences that make us feel unsafe, insecure, and alone as children. The emotional distress that stems from this type of trauma can persist throughout the lifespan and lead to many health complications.
One of the worst triggers of Childhood PTSD symptoms for many of us is the feeling of abandonment. This trigger is primal because we're all wired to be loved and included in the tribe as if our lives depended on it.
Causes of Abandonment
Abuse and neglect, losing a caregiver/parent, and other childhood traumas can lead to feelings of abandonment and cause challenges in forming healthy attachments. Things that can cause psychological and physical trauma in childhood include: Abuse.
If your feelings are hurt, you feel betrayed, abandoned, or rejected, and your partner doesnt care or minimizes them, thats a red flag. You should also be wary if you notice a pattern of lying or half-truths about other issues.
Some Common Causes of Abandonment Issues
Mothers abandon their children by: Being neglectful and not invested in their child's life. Being absent from home frequently or not being there for big events. Passing away and leaving their children as orphans or in the care of a single remaining parent.
Shame, guilt, low self-esteem, and a poor self-image are common among children with complex trauma histories.
Other manifestations of childhood trauma in adulthood include difficulties with social interaction, multiple health problems, low self-esteem and a lack of direction. Adults with unresolved childhood trauma are more prone to post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), suicide and self-harm.
Those with cPTSD will “push” away from an intimate relationship to prevent feeling “unsafe”. People with cPTSD often prefer being alone and will avoid relationships, friendships, or family because they may trigger fears of threat.
If you have complex PTSD you may be particularly likely to experience what some people call an 'emotional flashback', in which you have intense feelings that you originally felt during the trauma, such as fear, shame, sadness or despair.
With borderline personality disorder, you have an intense fear of abandonment or instability, and you may have difficulty tolerating being alone. Yet inappropriate anger, impulsiveness and frequent mood swings may push others away, even though you want to have loving and lasting relationships.
Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). CBT helps increase consciousness of feelings about certain life events. It may help a person with abandonment issues shift how they perceive events that cause fear. They may then restructure how they think about these events.
Symptoms of Abandonment Issues in Adults or Adulthood
Extreme jealousy or clingy behavior in a romantic relationship. Pretend they don't care about a spouse when they do. Rejection of a partner before they can be rejected. Avoid getting close to others.
Examples of emotional neglect may include: lack of emotional support during difficult times or illness. withholding or not showing affection, even when requested. exposure to domestic violence and other types of abuse.
A strong fear of abandonment can make it hard to trust others. Someone with abandonment issues may find they're often jealous or question everything that their partner tells them. Trust issues can shape how a person sees their partner's behaviors and can lead to volatile relationships.
“Five are personal — physical abuse, verbal abuse, sexual abuse, physical neglect, and emotional neglect,” according to ACESTooHigh News.