Perfect Timing Showers typically take place on a Saturday or Sunday anywhere from two months to three weeks before the wedding. The exact time of day will be up to your hosts, but they'll likely plan a brunch, a luncheon or an afternoon tea that lasts three to four hours.
The Traditional Bridal Shower Host
The maid of honor traditionally takes on the role of chief shower planner. But she isn't a one-woman show: She relies on the bridesmaids to help her with planning logistics. On the day of, the girls run the party, making sure everything goes smoothly and that guests are taken care of.
One month to three months before you get married is the sweet spot for bridal shower timing. That's because it's a little unfair to wedding guests to stretch out marriage celebrations in your honor for more than a few months (besides the engagement party).
Typically, whoever throws the event is the one must cover the costs. Often, the maid of honor and her fellow bridesmaids throw the bridal shower and pay for it, and the mother of the bride contributes.
With that being said, our experience shows us that the average number of guests at a bridal shower is about 25, with 20-30 being the average range. Ultimately, it's up to the bride and bridal shower host to make the final decision.
The average you should spend on a bridal shower gift is around $50 to $75. If you're especially close to the bride, you may spend upwards of $100. But no matter what, the amount you want to spend is up to you!
That's why it's so important to create a budget before starting to plan the shower. The total budget is typically split up evenly among those who are hosting (the maid of honor and bridesmaids, usually), but it's important that everyone is comfortable with the suggested amount.
That works out at $300 to $800 for a 20-person party but can go as high as $150 per person or $3,000 for a 20-person shower. Based on these estimates and an average bridal shower guest list of 35-50 people, a reasonable budget for a bridal shower is between $350 and $7,500.
"Many people spend around $50 to $75, whereas closer friends and family may spend upwards of $100," she says. "However, the amount you want to spend is up to you."
The appropriate amount of money to give as a bridal shower gift is the same as the amount you would spend on a tangible present: $50–$75. Give the couple as much as you can comfortably afford within that range. If your budget doesn't quite stretch to the $50 mark, that's okay.
Weichelt says bridal showers should ideally last between two and four hours. Anything shorter and guests will feel like they didn't have a chance to spend time with the bride; anything longer and they'll be itching to head home. Three hours might just be the sweet spot, then.
There really isn't a need for more than two showers. There will always be exceptions to the "rules," (i.e. friends across the country who want to throw you a party, etc.), but usually, two to three showers are enough. Any more and it will appear you are just making a grab for gifts.
Traditionally, the mother of the bride doesn't host the bridal shower (the maid of honor typically assumes the chief shower-planning role), however, your daughter will likely want you to be a part of the celebration.
Traditionally, the groom's mother will take care of the rehearsal dinner arrangements and help prepare the guest list for the groom's side of the family. Both tasks should be done with both the bride and the groom's input. Any other responsibilities can be negotiated among the families.
It's totally up to you and your fiancé to decide whether he will attend the bridal shower. Modern etiquette suggests that he show up toward the end of the shower to say hello and help stock up the car full of gifts. Some men even drop in for a few fun games.
Typically, whoever throws the event is the one must cover the costs. Often, the maid of honor and her fellow bridesmaids throw the bridal shower and pay for it, and the mother of the bride contributes.
A typical cash wedding gift could range from $50 to $500, depending on the same factors listed above. Even then, aiming for the $100 mark is generally sufficient and will be comparable to the average cost of a physical wedding gift. For those looking to gift the newlyweds cash, they may wonder how much to spend.
Yes, if you are invited to a shower in addition to the wedding, you're expected to bring a gift to the shower as well as send a wedding gift. You shouldn't spend more than you're comfortable with, however (see the next answer), and can split your budget between both gifts.
The bride's parents pay for the wedding dress. They also pay for any other elements of the bride's outfit, such as shoes, veil, hair accessories and jewellery. It's also the responsibility of the bride's mother to accompany her while dress shopping, and help her choose a gown.
The bride's side of the family traditionally pays for the bride's wedding dress and the bridesmaids' dresses. Increasingly, however, bridesmaids are paying for their own dresses.
The maid of honor, along with the rest of the bridal party, is expected to cover all wedding attire costs. This includes the dress (plus any necessary alterations), shoes, and any jewelry you'll be wearing the day of. Occasionally, the bride will gift her bridesmaids with whatever accessories she wants them to wear.
Bridal Shower Etiquette
Typically, as per tradition, the mother of the groom will bring a gift for the bride to the bridal shower. It can be something small and thoughtful. However, if she cannot attend the shower the bride's side of the family hosts, maybe because of distance, she can host her own.
Typically, whoever is hosting the bridal shower or couple's shower will pay for the celebration. It's poor etiquette to ask shower guests to contribute to the costs of the event, so avoid doing so.
The groom's family traditionally paid for all costs associated with the rehearsal dinner and honeymoon, wedding day transportation, and the officiant. The groom paid for the bride's engagement ring, wedding ring, and groomsmen gifts. It is also common for the groom's family to pay for the alcohol at the reception.