Life after divorce is filled with overwhelming emotions. Many women feel a combination of anger, fear, resentment and confusion. They may even feel shame or guilt, even when they don't deserve to. When I went through my divorce, I felt many of these same emotions.
Key findings
Divorce did not seem to result in any permanent personality change. The only trait that showed some increase was agreeableness, but this was only slight and only represented two countries. There were no notable differences between the personalities of men and women post-divorce.
While both genders see a rise in deaths following divorce, the rate for men is 1,773 per 100,000, compared to 1,096 for women. Sociologists hypothesize that one reason may be that men have less practice, and therefore fewer skills, when it comes to taking care of themselves.
A 2013 survey conducted by London's Kingston University said the majority of women were happier than they had ever been after divorcing. Another survey by Carphone Warehouse said 35% of women were less stressed after divorce compared to 17% of men.
Waite examined the couples who rated their marriage as “life in hell.” Of the couples who stayed married, 78 percent were happy with life five years later. Only 53 percent of those who chose to separate or divorce said they were happy.
It is no surprise, then, that marital infidelity is a leading cause of divorce.
While second marriages have been shown to have a higher divorce rate, many remarried women and relationship experts find that things can be much better the second time around.
Men Are More Likely to Remarry
The rate for women was significantly lower, at only 19.4 per 1,000 women eligible for remarriage. This data indicates that men are consistently more likely to attempt a second marriage than women. Over the past decade, there has been a decline in remarriage rates for both men and women.
The study found that on average unhappily married adults who divorced were no happier than unhappily married adults who stayed married when rated on any of 12 separate measures of psychological well-being. Divorce did not typically reduce symptoms of depression, raise self-esteem, or increase a sense of mastery.
divorce affect the limbic system – the seat of emotion – in the brain, and that can shut down the appetite. However, undereating is not the only eating disorder caused by divorce. Some turn to food for emotional comfort, leading to overeating and binge eating in an attempt to cope with psychological pain.
According to a survey from Ramsey Solutions, fights revolving around money are the second leading cause of divorces in the U.S., with infidelity being the leading cause. The combination of ineffective communication and debt often causes stress around financial situations, leading many couples to seek a divorce.
Divorce puts a strain on the financial, social, and emotional relationships of the partners. This time particularly can be devastating for women who may lose confidence, be forced into custody issues, and may lose hope of ever finding happiness again. Some women find it hard to return to their normal self again.
After divorce is a very challenging and overwhelming time in a person's life. It's an emotional roller coaster ride that no one wants to ride alone. It is also hard to adjust to being single again, as well as living “out of the habit” of being married, especially if you have been married for many, many years.
"If you're no longer spending any time together, if one or both partners is spending all their time at work, with friends, online — and if feels like a relief not to be with each other — it's a sign that you've already disengaged from the marriage." You don't support or listen to each other.
You know it's time to get a divorce when your spouse is neither that partner, nor a friend. Disconnect within a marriage can lead to feelings of loneliness. This loneliness only decays the marriage bond faster. Stay too long, and you'll feel trapped – leading to a messier, more expensive divorce.
Key points. Research suggests that 10-15% of couples reconcile after they separate, and about 6% of couples marry each other again after they divorce. Some remarry after working through the trauma of a betrayal or because despite their problems, they still have deep feelings for the other.
Usually, it seems as though the woman is the one who gets the better end of the deal. While many men are quick to say that their ex-wives took everything, including the dog—or that is what many country songs lead you to believe, anyway—the truth is that women often fare worse in a divorce.
Wait until your divorce or separation is final before you start dating. Even if you know your marriage is really, truly over, you still need to give yourself some time and space. "Although there's no 'magic' time frame by which one is ready to date, I typically recommend that one wait about a year," Jones says.
Being someone's second wife may force you to look at your relationship in a more mature and respectful way. It can make you learn to communicate about the present and the future – because more often than not, your partner isn't looking to make the same mistakes again.
48 percent of those who marry before the age of 18 are likely to divorce within 10 years, compared to 25 percent of those who marry after the age of 25. 44. 60 percent of couples married between the age of 20 -25 will end in divorce. 45.
Sadly, the average length of time for second marriages ending in divorce will typically just under eight years.