Covering mirrors while in mourning has a curious ambivalence: both ritual and superstition, a way of honoring the dead and warding them off, a vow that hides within the fear of something going wrong.
The Irish wake is a well-known funeral tradition where the family of the deceased covers all mirrors in the home. To hide the physical body from the soul, the family turns mirrors to face the wall. Some Irish superstitions say that if you look in a mirror long enough, you'll see a devil looking over your shoulder.
Mirrors. Individuals who are in mourning, or in a shiva home, are required to cover mirrors from the time an individual dies until the end of shiva. There are several reasons Judaism requires this. The first reason may stem from the idea that man was created in the image of God.
'Others say you should cover your mirror to avoid bad luck or negative attraction. If you are in a negative space or dealing with a negative situation, mirrors can double the energy in a room and expand the current vibration and frequency.
During shiva, a mourner is expected to ignore their own physical beauty. Mirrors are covered to remind the mourners that shiva is a reflection of loneliness and not about social acceptance.
Here are examples of things not to say: “How are you?” (They're not so good.) “I know how you feel.” (No you don't. Each person feels a unique loss.)
Many traditional Shiva restrictions include no wearing of new clothes, no shaving for men, no washing clothes, no bathing.
DON'T hang directly above or opposite bed.
According to feng shui experts, mirrors directly above your bed (or sofa) can disrupt calm, peaceful feelings because of the weight hanging over your head.
Denmark. When a loved one nears the end of his or her life in Denmark, a special tradition unfolds. It's a simple act – a swift gesture that takes little effort, but says so very much: the opening of a window for “the soul” of the loved one to pass through once they have died.
There are several reasons why people advise against it, but one of the basics is simply because it could startle you if you saw your reflection in the dark room! It could also cause you to “hear things”. Mirrors are fantastic for reflection as we know, but they're also great for reflecting sounds.
It is a common practice to cover the legs as there is swelling in the feet and shoes don't fit. As part of funeral care, the body is dressed and preserved, with the prime focus on the face. Post embalming, bodies are often placed without shoes; hence covering the legs is the way to offer a dignified funeral.
The old age interpretation of a rainfall after a funeral was a good omen. It was believed that the rain was heaven's washing away of grief and sorrow. If a rainbow appeared once the rainstorm ceased, then it was an added affirmation that the deceased now resided with God in heaven.
You should cover the mirror in a house where there's been a death because the soul of the dead person wanders around for three days, and it should not see itself in the mirror—if this happens the mirrors will tarnish and never be clean again, or in days to come the mirror will turn and make a picture of the dead.
The curtains at the crematorium are symbolic and signify the point at which the coffin is committed to be cremated – The 'Committal' Earth to Earth, Ashes to Ashes, Dust to Dust. They signify the finality of the departure of the deceased.
Closing the eyes of the dead is a way of saying, “May you sleep peacefully in your eternal sleep”, more commonly expressed simply as, “Rest in peace.”
Often, people say they want to remember the person as they were when they were alive. By all means, this is important. However, viewing the body of a loved one helps family and friends acknowledge the loss and makes it almost impossible to deny the death has occurred. This is the first step in healing.
You'll need to clear the home of all the deceased's property and hand in the keys at the end of the notice period. This is usually four weeks, but if you need longer speak to the landlord.
The practice of forcing eyelids closed immediately after death, sometimes using coins to lock the eyelids closed until rigor mortis intervenes, has been common in many cultures. Open eyes at death may be interpreted as an indication that the deceased is fearful of the future, presumably because of past behaviors.
It Can Disturb Sleep
Having a mirror facing the bed can disturb your sleep, especially if you're sensitive to light. Even if the room is dark, any light reflected off the mirror can cause discomfort and prevent you from falling asleep or staying asleep. It could also give you the impression that you are being watched.
In normal observers, gazing at one's own face in the mirror for a few minutes, at a low illumination level, produces the apparition of strange faces. Observers see distortions of their own faces, but they often see hallucinations like monsters, archetypical faces, faces of relatives and deceased, and animals.
Positioning your bed in line with the door is the worst possible position, according to the principles of Feng shui. People who practice Feng shui call it the 'dead man's position' or the 'coffin position' because the feet or head face the door and resemble how we carry the dead through open doors from the house.
Though there is no specific shiva attire, when attending a shiva you should dress respectfully. Men should wear long pants and women should dress conservatively. If the shiva is being held in the home of an orthodox Jewish family, women will be expected to wear long skirts (below the knees) and long-sleeved shirts.
A mourner is not greeted with “shalom” or “shalom Aleichem” because he is not at peace. Similarly, the mourner he should not greet others in this way. Not only that, not even visitors to the shiva house should greet one another in this fashion (Aruch HaShulchan YD 385:4).
Shloshim meaning “thirty” in Hebrew, is the first month of mourning following the funeral. After shiva mourners customarily resume some of their regular daily activities, but may refrain from attending parties, listening to live music or engaging in other forms of public entertainment.