Narcissists seek out an endless supply of validation, attention, and praise to compensate for low self esteem, confidence, and a perceived lack of acceptance that's often a result of early childhood trauma and attachment issues.
People with narcissistic personality disorders share similar traits with addicts, and both types of narcissistic personality disorder may lead to addiction. Many people with narcissism may also have an addiction to alcohol, sex, drugs, or social media.
Narcissists often look for victims who struggle with insecurity and low self-esteem. People who think less of themselves and struggle with the “I am not enough” mindset tend to attract toxic partners. People with self-esteem issues tend to think of themselves as imperfect or unlovable.
Feelings of superiority and desire to only associate with high-status people. Need for excessive admiration. Sense of entitlement. Willingness to take advantage of others to achieve goals. Lack of understanding and consideration for other people's feelings and needs.
In fact, narcissists are often attracted to strong, confident, and self-assured women. While this may seem counterintuitive, it is important to realize that the narcissistic traits of grandiosity and confidence are really a mask for deep insecurity.
Somatic narcissists crave attention based on their physical appearance and are often competitive about the way they look. This may result in them procuring personal feelings of worth from their physique. The character Gaston from Beauty and the Beast is a perfect example of a somatic narcissist.
They get jealous about everything
They talk a good game, but narcissists actually have very low self-esteem. Low self-worth/confidence/esteem is at the core of a narcissism. This low sense of self naturally makes it extremely easy for them to become jealous – very jealous.
Maybe you have a high-status job, a large social circle, or a talent that makes you sought after. If they're always thinking what a catch you are, they'll be obsessed with keeping you. The narcissist thinks it reflects well on them to have someone special, skilled, or capable interested in them.
It's easy to be seduced by generosity, expressions of love, flattery, sex, romance, and promises of commitment. This is how narcissists manipulate you to achieve their aims. They brag about themselves in order to be admired, loved, and gratified. Codependents with low self-esteem are easy targets.
Although narcissists act superior, entitled and boastful, underneath their larger-than-life facade lies their greatest fear: That they are ordinary. For narcissists, attention is like oxygen. Narcissists believe only special people get attention.
The most effective weapon to fend off narcissists is self-love. When you love yourself, it is more difficult for the narcissist to manipulate you and get under your skin. It will hurt them to know that you do not need them, that you are better off without them, and that you love yourself exactly as you are.
Narcissists are motivated by feeling superior and expanding their power, and so the only things that matter when helping others are receiving adulation, fame, influence, opportunities, notoriety, and other resources. They dont actually care about others because to them other people are just things to use.
The reason narcissists hoard resources is so they can feel purpose and meaning through their assets and possessions. In some instances, narcissists appear to be extremely cheap. They commonly regift items, leave their wallets at home, or refuse to share.
For a narcissist to be happy, you'll always have to accept their version of events as the truth. Otherwise, you'll be on the receiving end of their narcissistic rage. Even if you do everything they ask, a narcissist will still try and undermine you at every opportunity.
They want to be the center of your attention at all times. Make your narcissist work harder to impress you by giving some subtle, flirty attention to another person (It doesn't take much). A gentle touch on someone's arm while they're talking or some sugary compliments will trigger a narcissist's possessiveness.
Take control of a narcissist's schedule to upset them.
Narcissists want to be in control of everything, and that includes the plans you make with them. If you want to drive a narcissist crazy, be late to time-sensitive plans to throw off their day. Be unreliable so they never know what to expect from you next.
Grandiose sense of self-importance
Grandiosity is the defining characteristic of narcissism. More than just arrogance or vanity, grandiosity is an unrealistic sense of superiority. Narcissists believe they are unique or “special” and can only be understood by other special people.
One of the weird things narcissists do involves destroying your happiness and relaxing moments. They will purposefully do things to prevent you from doing something as simple as sleep. Even if you had a long day or are sick, a narcissist may start a fight while you are trying to sleep.
“To what extent do you agree with this statement: 'I am a narcissist.'” Scientists believe that this question could be all researchers need to make a quick and easy diagnosis of narcissism.
Narcissists are so insecure that they constantly need praise and admiration from others. They seek it from others and sometimes, even from themselves. The reason is that they want to be superior to all and this is the only way they know how to make themselves feel better.
The narcissist offers your pet a treat and then takes it back. The narcissist gets a payoff from seeing people and pets suffer under their control. By teasing your pet, the narcissist is also pushing your pet into snapping at them as a way to tell the narcissist to stop.
“This happens when, again, there's such an inflated view of the self that you're not able to process and respect the needs, wants, and feelings of others,” says Dr. Hoffman. This lack of empathy in narcissists is what makes their behaviors so inherently hurtful, whether they're “trying” to be hurtful or not.