Some people also suffer from haphephobia, which can make hugs overwhelming for them, by spiralling into nausea, hyperventilation, or even, panic attacks — while it's causes remain unknown, experts have hypothesized it as a result of trauma.
Negative experiences with touch in the past
Negative associations [with] all kinds of negative experiences leave their mark on the body. When trauma is stored in implicit memory in the body, people don't like to be hugged or touched. It makes them feel out of control and vulnerable,” Zolbrod says.
“People who have higher levels of social anxiety, in general, may be hesitant to engage in affectionate touches with others, including friends.” And the fear of someone 'reaching out'—literally and figuratively—can make that discomfort even worse, she warns. There's also a cultural component to being hug avoidant.
It is an irrational reaction and often occurs in people suffering from mental health conditions such as PTSD or OCD. If the aversion to touch is causing you distress: This could be a sign of an underlying condition such as sensory processing disorder (SPD), anxiety disorder, or post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
Remind the person that you don't like hugs.
If the hug has gone ahead, politely but firmly remind the hugger that you would prefer not to hug. Step back from the hug and say, “Sorry, I'm not a hugger!” If the person tries to hug you again in the future, you can use a more drastic reminder.
Don't impose hugs
“If someone looks like they're going to put their hand out, just follow. You don't have to grab them and go, 'Hey, I'm a hugger,' and make everyone feel uncomfortable.” Also, “if someone says no to a hug, don't dwell on it, just move on. The golden rule is treat people as you want to be treated.
Saying no to someone asking for a hug is absolutely valid in any situation. However, since you gave this person hugs in the past, the fact that you suddenly refuse to do so might confuse him.
Haphephobia (haf-uh-FOE-bee-uh) is an intense, overwhelming fear of being touched. Many people don't like being touched by strangers. But haphephobia is significant distress over being touched by anyone, even family or friends. For some people, the fear is specific to touch by people of one gender.
It is common that when someone is experiencing a disturbance in their emotional and mental health, they may not demonstrate as much affection as they would at other times. Some mental health examples include depression, anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder, or even obsessive compulsive disorder.
Haphephobia is an anxiety disorder characterized by a fear of being touched. Other names for haphephobia include chiraptophobia, aphenphosmphobia, and thixophobia. Being touched by strangers or without consent can make many people uncomfortable.
Sometimes children don't want physical affection because they're not in the mood, and other times it could be a specific person they don't want to cuddle. It could just be one of those things, there's no reason why but your child just doesn't want to give them a kiss goodbye.
Try to initiate the hug first. If he doesn't hug back, maybe he's not the affectionate type. Does he show that he loves you in other ways? If breaking the touch barrier doesn't work, I would suggest talking to him about it.
Other reasons why one partner may begin to avoid being touched by the other – If they are not experiencing much pleasure from coupled sex, they worry that it will lead to a fight, or if they have body image or self-confidence issues.
A sensitivity to touch can be due tosensory processing disorders, emotional and mental health issues, and physical conditions. Whether you are an adult, adolescent or parent of a child with tactile sensitivity, getting an evaluation and exploring possible reasons for the issue is the first step towards healing.
It might be challenging for you to show affection because your own family wasn't very affectionate. Or, you may have trauma to work through that makes expressing affection hard. It's also possible that you just naturally aren't someone who expresses their love for others through affection.
Fear of intimacy can also be due to childhood trauma, such as the loss of a parent or abuse. This causes the person to have difficulty trusting others. It could also be because of a personality disorder, such as avoidant personality disorder or schizoid personality disorder.
Some people don't like being touched for different reasons. It might be a cultural thing. Some have deeper psychological issues, like past physical or sexual abuse. Either way, it can be perfectly normal.
Feeling deprived of meaningful human contact can be referred to as skin hunger. People with skin hunger, or who are affection-deprived, are more likely to experience depression and stress, and in general, worse health.
Giving compliments is a classic way to show affection for someone without touching them. Try telling the person what you like most about them or noticing something new about their appearance when you see them.
Studies show that hugs and other physical connections reduce levels of stress hormones, such as cortisol, in the body. High levels of stress hormones can cause a whole host of health issues including sleep problems, skin problems, obesity, low immunity, and more.
Hugging helps lower our stress throughout the day.
Like so many other unseen benefits, this all goes back to good ol' hormones. Some researchers believe that hugging and other interpersonal touch can boost a hormone called oxytocin and also affect our endogenous opioid system.