What is BPD rage like? A person with BPD may react to an event that may seem small or unimportant to someone else, such as a misunderstanding, with very strong and unhealthy expressions of anger, including: Physical violence. Sarcasm.
Anger that is intense, uncontrolled, or inappropriate can be a devastating symptom for someone struggling with borderline personality disorder. They may be driven by a desire to be connected to others, yet loss of emotional control frequently drives others away. In some cases, the level of rage can lead to violence.
Explosive Feelings of Anger
Many people with BPD struggle with intense anger and a short temper. This makes it difficult for them to feel in control of their emotions once they have been provoked. They can quickly fill with rage, though this anger may not always be outwardly directed and can result in self-harm.
For example: “Maybe [someone with BPD] has an interaction with someone and typically, it might seem like it's a little bit frustrating, but they get very, very angry to the point where they feel overwhelmed, like they can't control it,” she said. “They might lash out at the person that caused the anger.”
For someone with BPD, anger can be extreme, sudden, and incredibly difficult to control. People with BPD often struggle to control their emotions, leading to intense and inappropriate anger. Even a minor inconvenience or perceived slight can trigger aggressive behavior in someone with BPD.
It is important to remember that while having a relationship with a person with BPD can be challenging, they are not intentionally trying to hurt you. Rather, they lack the ability to understand and cope with their emotional pain, which causes them to act in ways that hurt others.
While not everyone with BPD will encounter this uncontrollable anger, those who do (and the people around them) struggle greatly. BPD rage usually has an immediate onset and can vanish just as quickly or last for hours, even days. Poor emotional regulation is a key factor related to BPD rage.
Be a listener. Listen actively and be sympathetic and focus on emotions rather than the words. Ensure that you demonstrate that the person with BPD feels heard. When someone is upset or angry, it's easy and understandable to reciprocate, but it is not helpful.
People with BPD are chronically unsure about their lives, whether it is with their family, personal relationships, work, or future aspirations. They also experience persistent uncertain and insecure thoughts and feelings about their self-image, long-term goals, friendships, and values.
Often it seems as though there is no remorse or regret when someone with borderline intentionally, or unintentionally, hurt someone they love. They say cruel things, act in cruel ways, and can cause real harm to themselves or to others. When called on it, they will act with little remorse or regret.
BPD makes people more likely to engage in impulsive or risky behaviors, such as: Speeding or other unsafe driving. Unprotected sex or sex with strangers. Binge eating.
The borderline personality is desperate for connection and support when alone, often idealizing potential partners or friends. Once the yearned-for relationship begins, the cycle of disappointment, rage, and avoidance repeats.
Adult patients with BPD experience a wide range of other psychotic symptoms in addition to AVH, including hallucinations (11% visual hallucinations, 8% gustatory hallucinations, 17% olfactory hallucinations, 15% tactile hallucinations [19]), thought insertion (100%), thought blocking (90%), being influenced by another ...
For example, while a person with typical BPD might show outward signs of rage, a person with quiet BPD might turn that rage inward and engage in self destructive behaviors. Similarly, a person with typical BPD might have crying fits or throw tantrums, while someone with quiet BPD will become moody and withdrawn.
Because of their overall pessimistic demeanor, they can easily feel slighted and may express this aggressively or hold it in and build resentment. Those with this type of BPD tend to view people in “black and white” terms (known as BPD splitting), so they are likely to hold onto a grudge after feeling insulted.
Once upset, borderline people are often unable to think straight or calm themselves in a healthy way. They may say hurtful things or act out in dangerous or inappropriate ways. This emotional volatility can cause turmoil in their relationships and stress for family members, partners, and friends.
To try and tackle the “divide” in the relationship, the borderline sufferer might begin to withdraw or pick fights. This, they hope, will make their partner “fight” for the relationship, and in turn help them to stop worrying. This is where the relationship could begin to fall apart.
Borderline personality disorder usually begins by early adulthood. The condition seems to be worse in young adulthood and may gradually get better with age.
“Borderline guilt” is the feeling of shame following a BPD episode. Sometimes people feel guilt because the way they acted hurt their loved ones. Other times people feel guilt because they acted in a way that doesn't accord with their personal values.
Risk of Becoming Violent
Many individuals with BPD never commit any aggressive acts during their lives. If you are feeling threatened, even if no violence has occurred in your relationship, you should take that seriously. If you already feel unsafe, it is possible the situation could escalate to the point of violence.
Often, the person with BPD will react towards loved ones as if they were the abusers from their past, and take out vengeance and anger towards them. When the person with BPD feels abandoned, they can become abusive or controlling as a way to defend against feelings of abandonment or feeling unworthy.
This finding suggests that people with BPD are viewed harshly due to their apparent lack of control over their behavior and emotions. People with schizophrenia, by contrast, suffer from hallucinations and delusions that, by virtue of their seriousness, would seem less controllable.
Remember that splitting is a symptom of borderline personality disorder - while it can be difficult not to take their words and actions personally, remember that the person is not intentionally trying to hurt you.