People with borderline personality disorder can be very effective and nurturing parents, but because the symptoms of BPD can be very intense, for many people this does take some work.
Mothers with BPD can seem unloving, withholding, and negative. Their behavior may be unpredictable and their children may feel like they have to “walk on eggshells” to prevent their mothers from having mood swings.
The children of parents with BPD are at risk of poorer outcomes in terms of their own mental health, educational outcomes and wellbeing. The challenges of being a parent can also exacerbate the symptoms of those with BPD traits.
Children of mothers with BPD are also at heightened risk for exhibiting attention difficulties, aggressive behavior, and low self-esteem, in addition to major depression, anxiety, and borderline personality disorder itself.
Many people with borderline personality disorder are highly functional parents. Some people raised by parents with BPD compensate by becoming exceptionally compassionate, mature, and competent.
Parents with high BPD features reported significantly greater parenting stress, distress, difficult child and difficult parent-child relationships compared to those with low BPD features, with medium to large effect sizes observed.
Talk to a therapist or other mental health professional for individual help. Set and reinforce boundaries with your borderline parent. Keep a journal to write your thoughts and feelings, especially after an upsetting interaction. Be aware of triggers (both yours and your parent's) and do your best to avoid them.
Maladaptive Parenting. Maladaptive parenting including childhood maltreatment, abuse and neglect, exposure to domestic violence and parental conflict are found to be prevalent psychosocial risk factors for development of BPD in children and adolescents [10, 11].
One of the best ways to deal with a BPD parent is to understand the condition and how it affects your relationship. An understanding of your parent's illness and what they are experiencing will enable you to show empathy, communicate more effectively, and avoid conflict where possible.
One strong predictor of the disorder is family history. In fact, having a first-degree relative (parent, sibling, child) with BPD puts you at a 5 times greater risk of developing it yourself, according to NAMI. (2) With a first-degree relative, you share an average of 50 percent of your genes.
The Social Security Administration placed borderline personality disorder as one of the mental health disorders on its disabilities list. However, you'll have to meet specific criteria for an official disability finding. For example, you must prove that you have the symptoms of the condition.
Environmental factors
being a victim of emotional, physical or sexual abuse. being exposed to long-term fear or distress as a child. being neglected by 1 or both parents. growing up with another family member who had a serious mental health condition, such as bipolar disorder or a drink or drug misuse problem.
BPD Looks Like So Many Other Mental Health Conditions
People with BPD typically also meet the criteria for multiple other diagnoses, including depression, anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder, substance use disorders, eating disorders, bipolar disorder, and so on.
The symptoms of borderline personality disorder usually first occur in the teenage years and early twenties. However, onset may occur in some adults after the age of thirty, and behavioral precursors are evident in some children.
The condition seems to be worse in young adulthood and may gradually get better with age. If you have borderline personality disorder, don't get discouraged. Many people with this disorder get better over time with treatment and can learn to live satisfying lives.
Many people with BPD feel emotions deeply and find working in a caring role fulfilling. If you are an empathetic person, consider jobs such as teaching, childcare, nursing and animal care.
Limited therapeutic effectiveness of antidepressants in BPD may be related to lack of serotonin receptor specificity, since 5-HT2A but not 5-HT2C antagonism is associated with decreasing impulsivity.
They found that BPD patients had a higher prevalence of brain injuries, developmental or acquired, than healthy control subjects and that greater brain dysfunction is linked to greater behavioural disturbances.
There is increasing evidence regarding the negative impact of BPD on physical health, with increased risks of many major physical illnesses with BPD, including cardiovascular diseases, arthritis and obesity. Life expectancy in this regard has been shown to be reduced significantly.
But borderline personality disorder does not develop as a result of those traumas. Instead, it is a combination of genetic factors and childhood experiences (early environmental influences) that cause a person to develop borderline personality disorder.
Also, many people achieve remission — their symptoms become much less intense, so much so that they no longer meet the criteria for diagnosis. The stigma around BPD is pervasive, but many people get better. With treatment, it's possible to go on to lead a happy and healthy life.