Broadly, emotional infidelity describes a situation in which an individual in a relationship develops an important emotional connection with someone other than their partner, in a way that crosses a line without necessarily becoming physical.
Emotional affairs can begin online or in-person as a simple acquaintance or friendship. It can then evolve when boundaries are crossed and rationalized by the unfaithful partner. Over time, more limits are broken creating the opportunity for stronger intimacy to flourish.
Micro-cheating is a term used to describe small, seemingly harmless actions or behaviours that may indicate a partner is emotionally or physically involved with someone else.
While some believe that an emotional affair is harmless given that there is no sexual relationship, most marriage and relationship experts view it as a form of cheating. Emotional affairs can also act as gateway affairs, eventually leading to emotional and sexual infidelity.
These types of affairs are increasingly common. Around 45% of men and 35% of women have admitted to having some sort of emotional affair, which is more than 20% more than people who admit to having a physical affair. One reason for the commonality is that many people don't view emotional cheating as cheating.
Emotional affairs are often a result of feeling neglected, misunderstood or overlooked in a relationship. If a person believes that their partner does not value them, or does not have time for them, then they might strike up a friendship with a new person who offers more emotional investment and support.
Emotional cheating often involves secrecy and lies, as the person engaging in the behavior may try to hide the extent of their emotional relationship with someone else from their partner. In contrast, micro-cheating behaviors may be more overt, and may not necessarily involve lying or deceit.
In short, an inappropriate emotional connection or attachment can be just as dangerous to a relationship as a physical affair. Emotional affairs can often be gateway affairs to other types of infidelity and are just as likely to lead to divorce or a breakup as physical affairs.
The Effect of Emotional Cheating
If these trust issues remain unsolved, the person cheated on can no longer form healthy relationships with other people. They can become paranoid and feel threatened by their partner's friendships. They can try to restrict these friendships as an effect of their psychological trauma.
But women also have more emotional affairs! One study found 78.6 percent of men and 91.6 percent of women admitted to having an emotional affair.
However, emotional affairs can also last years. People even will leave one relationship to begin a new relationship with their affair partner. Though, relationships that develop this way tend to end.
* Think affairs happen during the evening, you'd be wrong. Married people are typically home with each other at night, if that suddenly changed it would raise too many red flags. The majority of married people will conduct their affairs in the morning, before work.
Micro-cheating is a term for small, sometimes unintentional actions that could be seen as minor infidelity. Examples of micro-cheating include talking to an ex on social media and lying about your relationship status to casual acquaintances.
The one thing all cheaters have in common is a lack of impulse control. Unfortunately, they also tend to be opportunistic and have an inflated sense of their own importance. What is this? Not only do serial cheaters adopt similar behavioral habits, but they also share a number of personality traits.
Many couples recover from emotional infidelity. It is possible. The process of recovery takes time, so be patient with the process, with your partner, and with yourself. Ultimately, you can rebuild a relationship even better than it was before!
Is Emotional Cheating Forgivable? Many couples can recover from an emotional affair as long as the outside relationship comes to an end. As with all things related to relationships, individual results vary. Forgiving an emotional affair depends on the parties involved.
“Cheating guilt is the biggest side-effect of infidelity. A person might be happy with their lover, but there is no escaping the guilt of letting down their legally wedded spouse or committed partner. This can even affect their self-esteem,” says Tania.
The physical signs of cheating are the most obvious. This includes spending more time with friends and less with you, avoiding sex, having a random or significantly changed schedule, and changes in their appearance.
Red flags in a relationship include excessive jealousy and frequent lying. You should also be wary of a partner who frequently criticizes you or puts you down. Another major red flag is an unwillingness to compromise — relationships shouldn't be one-sided.