The person who did the dumping usually feels strength (and often relief) at the very first, but with the days and weeks of no contact your ex likely begins to develop feelings of doubt in their decision, missing you, fear that you have moved on, and confusion that you have not chased, begged, and pleaded as most others ...
Unless your ex is truly dealing with mental problems or genuine/clinical character flaws, that is not the case. It is most likely that your ex still cares about you and thinks about you during no contact.
1) It will shock them
And most of the time, the dumper will still have some feelings for the person they left behind. Sometimes they regret it immediately but stay their course out of pride. Others do it to play mind games.
In most cases, if you give your ex enough space, they will at some point miss you. Of course, that doesn't necessarily mean they're going to get on their hands and knees and beg for you back. For some the “missing emotion” can be fleeting. For others, all consuming.
Generally speaking, some dumpers regret their decision to break up only weeks after the incident. Other dumpers need years to feel that way. And some never even arrive at the final stage of dumpers remorse. Instead, they move on to someone else — be it a rebound or not.
The psychology of no contact on dumper is a coping mechanism to help you think hard about what went wrong and how you could be a better person and a potentially better partner to the next person who will come along. Instead of thinking about your ex, you have to focus on self-improvement and healing.
There is no easy way to deal with a breakup, but remaining silent actually speaks volumes to your ex. After all, actions speak louder than words! By staying silent, you're telling your ex that you're strong, resilient, and independent. You're relying on yourself — and no one else — for your own happiness.
Some people may be asking, “Does No Contact work?”. While everyone's ex is different, the No Contact Rule does increase the likelihood of your ex missing you and wanting to come back. In essence, it will show them that you are not available for them whenever they want you and that you have your own life to live.
It can take a man about 3-8 weeks to miss you, but despite what many other articles say on the topic, we advise that there should be no time limit on no contact.
Although it may take your ex to show any signs he knows he hurt you, it does eventually happen especially if you were his source of comfort and happiness. If your man realizes that romantic relationship because of shortcomings or unacceptable behavior from his end, he will regret it.
The no-contact rule male psychology forces him to recognize his loneliness. After a breakup, if you stop contacting him, he will feel free and enjoy this phase as much as he can. But, with time, the loneliness and guilt pang will start to kick in.
If your ex calls you often, and it isn't to catch up on things, there is a good chance that he might be thinking about you. If he calls to ask you out or if he calls during times when you never used to talk before, it means he has missed your relationship and can't live without you.
He seems lost or depressed. Your ex might share sad posts on social media. If you're around him, you may notice that he doesn't seem interested or excited about things anymore. You'll hear from mutual friends that he talks about how unhappy he is or that he's pitying himself.
Typically, evidence suggests the dumpee normally faces more pain and they certainly do suffer the most intensity of emotions. That being said the dumper rarely escapes pain free.
In my opinion, the breakup relief stage can last anywhere from 1 to 2 months from the onset of a breakup with it taking roughly 5 months before individuals actually feel they've healed from the breakup.
Dumpers usually don't feel separation anxiety because they are the ones that initiated the breakup. This means they are often under the IMPRESSION that they can reverse the breakup if they so choose to. But this can change if you make it clear to them that you are not going to be waiting around forever.
The bottom line is that a dumper with a secure attachment style tends to move on the quickest after a breakup.
Simply put, the female mind during no-contact rule is more likely to struggle with negative feelings. Your ex will be a mess for a while. Crying, grieving, feeling anxious, and even entering a depressive phase. It can be overwhelming for her to come to terms with the idea of leaving behind a shared life with you.
In short, yes, but their grief is going to be different because if the dumper is an avoidant they've come up with all these coping mechanisms to suppress how they're feeling. Think of it like a more agonizing process that on the outside might not look like they're grieving at all.
When you are looking at why the dumper is acting cold towards you one possible explanation is that it might be a defense mechanism to stave off feeling sadness or shame. Remember, human beings are very pain averse and that's doubly true for emotional pain.