The manipulative person is trying to influence you in a rather aggressive way without it seeming aggressive. He or she is staying in a safe place but trying to make your position seem trivial, silly, uninformed, unimaginative or wrong. All this is done by making fun of you and seeming to have no malice.
A manipulator will actively lie to you, make excuses, blame you, or strategically share facts about them and withhold other truths. In doing this, they feel they are gaining power over you and gaining intellectual superiority. Manipulators are experts in exaggeration and generalization.
"Unintentional manipulation can show up in exaggerating the facts," Silvershein says. "If someone had an early-morning flight that takes off at 8 a.m., they may say their flight is at 6 a.m. since they technically have to leave for the airport at 6 a.m. They know that this story is better and will gain more empathy."
According to therapist and relationship expert Ken Page, LCSW, everyone can be manipulative from time to time, sometimes without even realizing it. "We are all human, and all of us manipulate because it's a human defense mechanism," he says.
Signs You May Be Manipulating Someone
Attempting to control someone else's feelings — making them feel bad. Lying or misleading people. Withholding communication & affection. Blaming others for your actions.
Sometimes, people may manipulate others unconsciously, without being fully aware of what they're doing, while others may actively work on strengthening their manipulation tactics. Some signs of manipulation include: Passive-aggressive behavior. Implicit threats.
The user can manipulate the innocence of a person, making someone innocent of anything or undoing the innocence of someone, or toning it down so that there may be some bad things the target could do.
It can be hard to see the signs of emotional manipulation. Sometimes, the people we trust the most are actually using tactics to make you feel guilty, wrong, or like you've hurt them, even though you're the one that's being hurt. In fact, they might be using manipulation tactics without even realizing it!
The silent treatment, or stonewalling, is a passive-aggressive form of manipulation and can be considered emotional abuse. It is a way to control another person by withholding communication, refusing to talk, or ignoring the person.
“I didn't say/do that” or “It wasn't my idea, it was yours” When things don't go too well, manipulators put all the blame on you: They didn't even mention that subject. You did not understand them.
If you are causing someone pain, changing how they feel about you or themselves, or controlling someone else's life, you are likely manipulative. That isn't a good thing. There are many ways to be manipulative. Because you came here looking for answers, you probably don't recognize these signs.
Signs of emotional manipulation include gaslighting, passive aggression, and more. A manipulator may also use your insecurities against you so that they can control you. A sinister sign can also be moving goalposts — when your partner keeps changing their expectations.
Manipulation is when a person uses controlling and harmful behaviors to avoid responsibility, conceal their true intentions, or cause doubt and confusion. Manipulation tactics, such as gaslighting, lying, blaming, criticizing, and shaming, can be incredibly damaging to a person's psychological well-being.
Manipulation is generally considered a dishonest form of social influence as it is used at the expense of others. Manipulative tendencies may derive from personality disorders such as borderline personality disorder, narcissistic personality disorder, or antisocial personality disorder.
Red flags in a relationship include excessive jealousy and frequent lying. You should also be wary of a partner who frequently criticizes you or puts you down. Another major red flag is an unwillingness to compromise — relationships shouldn't be one-sided.
They are afraid of vulnerability. Manipulators seldom express their needs, desires, or true feelings. They seek out the vulnerabilities in others in order to take advantage of them for their own benefits and deflect their true motives. They have no ability to love, empathy, guilt, remorse, or conscience.