Be Patient. Give your partner time and space if he or she needs it to process their emotions or the events that took place; don't let your anxiety and desire for certainty drive you to push your partner, husband, or wife to open up or share. Respect that each person has a way they processes, and so do you.
Have a conversation with your partner and make sure they understand that their emotional unavailability is a problem for you. Confirm that they are willing to do something about it. Make sure that they understand that they need to take responsibility for making a concerted effort to reach out to you.
Waiting Can Make You Unavailable to Others
It's also important to consider that waiting for your partner could prevent you from pursuing other people. If they're emotionally unavailable, they may not be able to provide you with the commitment and support you're seeking.
An emotionally unavailable man has a difficult time knowing how to engage in the real-stuff conversations. In some instances, he may have some capacity to listen, but is emotionally shutting that part of himself down so that you don't get too close. If that's the case, you will likely feel shut down and alone.
Emotionally unavailable men are seeking for perfection for one reason only: they're deeply insecure. Since they're insecure and don't want to show any sign of a vulnerable exposure, they will comfort themselves with the thought that 'no one is good enough' and they don't need to open up to anyone.
What Causes Emotional Unavailability? While there is no one explanation for emotional unavailability, it can be caused by a number (or combination) of factors. These include attachment styles developed in childhood, history in relationships, trauma, mental health conditions, and one's circumstances and priorities.
Signs of emotional unavailability include fear of intimacy, trouble expressing emotions, and commitment anxiety. “It's not something you can fix for them, nor is it something they can quickly and easily change about themselves for you,” Jernigan says.
Research has demonstrated that we are often attracted to partners who seem familiar to us and have similar qualities to our parents. One of the reasons people are drawn to emotionally unavailable partners is due to the role models they had for romantic relationships in childhood.
What does it mean to stonewall someone? In simple terms, stonewalling is when someone completely shuts down in a conversation or is refusing to communicate with another person.
An emotionally unavailable person is typically not willing or able to truly commit to you and be loyal to you. This type of person will often want to keep things casual and undefined so as to not deal with any of the emotional components that go into a long-term relationship.
Other causes of emotional unavailability in adulthood include childhood neglect and childhood abuse or trauma. Being in a relationship with someone who is emotionally unavailable can be both frustrating and painful.
Many people ask questions like can emotionally unavailable men fall in love? The answer is yes! They can fall in love when they see the right person. Emotionally unavailable men would be ready to drop all their unhealthy behaviors so that they would not scare their love interest away.
Characteristics of an Emotionally Unavailable Person
For men in particular, a consuming fear is “losing” themselves in a relationship. Those who are emotionally unavailable also tend to fear and avoid intimacy and are sensitive to the feeling of being “clung to” or controlled by their romantic partner.
A need to chase after people who can't actually love tends to stem from unresolved childhood issues, or even trauma. Self-help is a good start, and there are wonderful books out there to help with things like codependency and attachment issues.
No contact means that at least a temporarily unavailable man or woman has the time to think about the relationship and what might stop them from connecting with you or being emotionally intimate. During this time, they might take help from a therapist to become more emotionally available.
When you ignore a man who's emotionally unavailable, it will start bothering him to such a degree that he'll start feeling depressed and anxious. He will try to figure things out on his own and won't turn to friends or family for advice.
#9 He Gets Jealous
Jealousy is about a lot of things, including insecurity, immaturity, and fear. What is this? Emotionally unavailable men may experience jealousy more intensely because they bottle up their feelings.