Why do people cheat? A wide variety of factors can bring out some type of affair. A study of 495 people revealed eight key reasons: anger, low self-esteem, lack of love, low commitment, need for variety, neglect, sexual desire, and circumstance.
Lack of Emotional Connection
Studies show that only 7% of cheating women and 8% of cheating men cheated due to sexual dissatisfaction alone. The vast majority cheated either because of a lack of emotional connection in the relationship or a combination of a lack of emotional and sexual connection in the relationship.
The other four factors, the study determined, are sexual desire, anger (like cheating as a way to lash out at a partner), not feeling very committed to a relationship, and esteem (using sex with other partners as a way to boost your self-worth).
Research in the field of infidelity reveals that there are three distinct personality types correlated with a higher likelihood of cheating: sociopaths, narcissists, and lonely hearts.
Those who cheat for relationship reasons do so because they don't feel satisfied. "Researchers find that partnerships characterized by dissatisfaction, unfulfilling sex, and high conflict are at higher risk for infidelity," she says.
The most important thing to remember is what cheating says about a person. They're insecure, impulsive, selfish, and immature. Sometimes, it's a chronic problem that likely won't ever be fixed, just be sure not to ignore the warning signs.
Inherent Selfishness/Entitlement. Some cheaters, despite loving their partner and enjoying their relationship, feel they deserve more. Rather than seeing their vow of fidelity as a sacrifice made to and for their relationship, they view it as something to be worked around.
According to Marin, many people who cheat aren't looking for something they're missing in their relationship. Instead, the person cheating is dealing with issues about themselves. Per the AAMFT, it is common for the partner who cheats to experience low self-esteem, which can lead to feelings of shame and worthlessness.
Research from the past two decades shows that between 20 and 25 percent of married men cheat and between 10 and 15 percent of married women cheat, according to professor Nicholas Wolfinger. Read more here.
We often think of infidelity as something that only occurs in broken, unhappy relationships, or when partners are feeling super desperate. But the truth of the matter is that infidelity can occur in even the happiest couple. And infidelity is more common than we would like to think.
Infidelity does not mean that the love is gone or never existed. The reality is that you can love someone and still cheat on them. In fact, many affairs happen in relationships that are otherwise very happy.
There are many reasons people cheat – even when they truly do love the partner they have committed to – and although sometimes it means there's a problem in the relationship that needs to be addressed, just as often it has nothing to do with the relationship or with their partner, but instead has to do with their own “ ...
Each can be a subtle indicator. The physical signs of cheating are the most obvious. This includes spending more time with friends and less with you, avoiding sex, having a random or significantly changed schedule, and changes in their appearance.
Usually, emotional infidelity starts with a harmless crush. But once we start to flirt and spend more time with someone we have our eye on, a relationship can develop that has romantic potential. Eventually, this opens the door to physical infidelity.
For the betrayed spouse, stages of an affair being exposed can involve everything from denial, shock, reflection, depression to finally taking an upward turn.
Although many people believe in the adage, “Once a cheater, always a cheater,” it is not necessarily true. Not every person who cheats once will cheat again. However, serial cheaters are people who seek out sexual partners on a continual, chronic pattern of infidelity.
Relationship counselors have seen many couples persevere through cheating and the cheater never cheat again. On the other hand, the opposite happens just as often. According to some studies, someone who has cheated before is 3x more likely to cheat again in their next relationship.
Even if the love is still there, in general a woman who's unhappy in her relationship may be more inclined to cheat. Whether because of anger, home, financial problems, family trouble—the list goes on—they may feel cheating will offer them what their current relationship isn't.
An affair means you have little respect for your partner — so little, in fact, that you're happy to be indiscreet with someone else without your partner's knowledge. If you have so little respect for another human being, why are you in a long-term relationship with them?
It takes a high level of commitment, respect, and empathy to remain faithful to someone you love. Cheating is inherently an immature behavior that puts a lack of self-control and impulsivity on display. Both hallmarks of immaturity.