A quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping on a rainy day; restraining her is like restraining the wind or grasping oil with the hand.” Proverbs 27:15-16.
Honorable men don't quarrel, but “every fool will be quarreling” (Prov 20:3). Gossip/slander produces quarreling (Prov 26:20). Those who walk properly do not quarrel (Rom 13:13). Do not “quarrel over opinions” in matters of liberty (Rom 14:1).
19 It is better to adwell in the wilderness, than with a bcontentious and an angry woman. 20 There is atreasure to be desired and oil in the dwelling of the wise; but a foolish man bspendeth it up.
In summary, a quarrelsome, contentious person wants to argue and fight the right issues, but they do so usually at the wrong time and in the wrong way.
People who are quarrelsome seem to constantly get in fights. Quarrelsome people are often moody or sensitive: any little thing can get them upset. Other people usually don't like to work with or be around quarrelsome folks.
A quarrelsome person finds a sense of purpose and worth in arguments. It's that sense of purpose and worth which causes problems. James clarifies that we get into quarrels precisely because of the desires in our hearts (James 4:1-2).
What Does the Bible Say About a Disrespectful Wife? It is better to live in a desert land than with a quarrelsome and fretful woman (Proverbs 21:19 ESV). An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who brings shame is like rottenness in his bones (Proverbs 12:4 ESV).
A contentious issue is one that people are likely to argue about, and a contentious person is someone who likes to argue or fight.
Proverbs 14:29
"Whoever is slow to anger has great understanding, but he who has a hasty temper exalts folly."
Pray about the conflict you are having before you address it with the other person. But go into prayer humbly. Ask God to show you where you are wrong. Ask for wisdom to help you identify the parts of the conflict that you own, and work on those things before you talk to the person.
In fact, God's Word tells us specifically to avoid arguments; “Don't have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments, because you know they produce quarrels. And the Lord's servant must not be quarrelsome but must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful” (2 Timothy 2:23-24).
[7] An evil wife is a yoke shaken to and fro: he that hath hold of her is as though he held a scorpion. [8] A drunken woman and a gadder abroad causeth great anger, and she will not cover her own shame. [9] The whoredom of a woman may be known in her haughty looks and eyelids.
The “Contentious Woman” mentioned in verses 9 & 19 is the wife who insists on being a difficult person for her husband to live with. She starts arguments with her husband absolutely impossible for him to win.
having a difficult and contrary disposition. “"a cantankerous and venomous-tongued old lady"- Dorothy Sayers” synonyms: crotchety, ornery ill-natured. having an irritable and unpleasant disposition.
Contentious people never let anything go. They feel compelled to explain, defend, convince, convict, or just have the last word. To 'contend' can mean 'to contend in rivalry. ' Are you in rivalry with your spouse?
RSV: "I permit no woman to teach or to have authority over men; she is to keep silent." GNB: "I do not allow them to teach or to have authority over men; they must keep quiet." NIV: "I do not permit a woman to teach or to have authority over a man; she must be silent."
1 Corinthians 7: 15 tells us that if an unbeliever (this includes a narcissist [you can read my article about whether someone is a believer here]) can't live with you in peace, then let them live without you.
Colossians 3:19 instructs, “Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them” (NIV, see also ESV). Wives should not have to fear verbal, emotional, or physical abuse. Rather, every wife should be confident that her husband will step up and protect her from conflict or danger.
Some common synonyms of quarrelsome are bellicose, belligerent, contentious, and pugnacious.
She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. "Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all."
Proverbs 25:24 Amplified Bible (AMP)
It is better to live in a corner of the housetop [on the flat roof, exposed to the weather] Than in a house shared with a quarrelsome (contentious) woman.