Calling out the narcissist really has no benefit. They won't start to acknowledge their wrongs and make efforts to change. By calling them out, you just open yourself up to more abuse from the narcissist. This might be hard to hear because this means you are left with no way to be heard for how you are being treated.
If you want to confront a narcissist directly, try sending them an email instead of talking in person so that they can't interrupt or talk over you. If they're not willing to admit their wrongdoing, then it's best to distance yourself from them. Remember that their lies are only going to hurt you in the long run.
There is a chance they won't recognize what you've done as “exposure.” What is this? Instead, they will often insist that you're lying. A narcissist's truth can be so distorted from reality that they actually believe their own lies, even when the lies seem utterly delusional to everyone else.
The real reason why simply confronting a narcissist and calling them out for their behavior won't work is simple: they're not actually listening to you. If they truly are a narcissist, they have never been listening, and are especially unlikely to take any criticism or feedback on board.
A narcissist's Achilles heel is their self-image. If you criticize them in any way or challenge their superiority and dominance, you can hurt them.
Fear microexpressions: Microexpressions are brief, involuntary facial expressions that give away a person's true emotions. Liars are often afraid of being caught, so they may express fear through small movements, like raising their eyebrows or wrinkling their forehead.
Draw attention to a narcissist's contradictions to expose them. Malignant narcissists will share incompatible ideas and statements as it suits them. Whenever you spot an inconsistency, nicely comment on it in a roundabout way without being combative.
Outside the realm of legitimate psychotherapy, to call someone a narcissist is not only more insulting than non-clinical insults; it may well evoke more hostility. The labeler seizes the role of expert and looks down with contempt on the pathological wretch below.
Deep-Seated Fear of Rejection / Being Unimportant – This is the core of narcissistic rage. Many narcissists are constantly hounded by the insecurity that people may not see them as the privileged, powerful, popular, or “special” individuals they make themselves to be, and react intensely when their fears are confirmed.
The narcissist often engages in self-defeating and self-destructive behaviours.
Narcissistic rage occurs when a narcissist's beliefs about their perceived importance or grandiosity are confronted. In turn, they respond with extreme anger toward the perceived threat. Whether narcissistic rage results from criticism, losing control, or minor setbacks, being on the receiving end can be terrifying.
React with empathy and respect.
A narcissist thrives on conflict, and will take control of the conversation as soon as you get defensive or try to fight back. Instead, you can take control by making empathetic statements about the situation, which will help the narcissist calm down.
Offending a person with narcissism can lead to immediate, lasting, and perhaps irreparable fallout.
The worst thing for a narcissist is to be ignored, or to run out of supply. Without attention from others, a narcissist is not able to function. They need people, even though they will never admit it.
Emotional Manipulation: When the narcissist knows you have figured them out, they may try to play on your emotions. They might use guilt, fear, or pity to get you to back off or feel sorry for them. They may also try to make you doubt your own perceptions or emotions.
Does ignoring a narcissist work? First of all, narcissists hate being ignored, so ignoring them may be the best form of revenge. But, it should not be your primary motivation. The most essential thing here is to be mature enough to let go of toxic individuals in your life, no matter how difficult it is.
The easiest way to make a narcissist panic is to cut off your supply of attention and concern. Narcissists feed off of attention. Any kind. Whether it's good or bad, it doesn't matter to them.
If you humiliate a narcissist, it is going to cause them to experience a huge narcissistic injury. This “injury” will trigger their suppressed painful emotions and compromises their emotional stability.
Appearing anxious while talking. Getting defensive when confronted about a lie. Constantly changing their story or being vague when questioned. Lying about something even when there's no reason to.