The grieving individual often is overwhelmed – both by the loss and the outpouring of support by others. Once the funeral is over, the person may feel isolated and alone in the grief. The flood of people is replaced by the emptiness, mundane duties and the ongoing task of sorting through paperwork and possessions.
People normally take three to five days off of work after a death in the family. Your employee handbook should outline the number of days you're allowed to take off of work, whether you'll be paid during that time, and what's expected of you as far as giving notice is concerned.
A wake, also known as a funeral reception, is an event where close friends and family of the deceased gather together to pay their respects to their loved one. Traditionally, a wake referred to the viewing held before the funeral, but nowadays it's usually held after the funeral or memorial service.
A traditional funeral service typically has four components. They are the visitation, funeral ceremony, committal service, and a funeral reception. The family may decide to have more than one visitation at different times or just one.
A funeral reception is a post-funeral gathering where friends and family members can come together to celebrate and remember the life of their loved one. The reception typically follows immediately after the funeral service. It is relatively simple to plan a funeral reception.
Expect service to last between half an hour to one hour; longer for public figures, or if there are lengthy readings or speeches. A clergy member or other officiant presides over the funeral service, and a printed program is generally provided to guests.
Traditional Funeral Features
At the end of the service, the body will be removed to a hearse by the pallbearers and brought to the cemetery for interment. In the case of cremation, the body will be removed to a crematory for cremation.
A reception or gathering after a funeral is a good opportunity for people to spend time together and remember the person who died. Funerals often bring people together who may not have seen each other in some time, and a reception also provides an opportunity for people to reconnect.
Today, although symbolic rituals around food and mourning still exist, food's most important purpose is to comfort the mourners. Across cultures in America, whether it's Jewish or Mormon, Italian or Southern Black, food is often provided by the community for the family of the deceased.
After the funeral, the family and close relatives to the deceased are supposed to refrain from entertainment and merry-making. This is a basic rule that should be adhered to during such times and events. A period of 49 days is prescribed for this as a way of showing respect to the departed family member.
“When possible, it's polite to stay for the entire funeral,” Gottsman advised. “You may not enjoy a long ceremony of any kind, but a funeral is the last time you will pay your respects to your friend. And the family will notice your early departure.”
In the US, there would be nothing unusual about it. Some cultures believe that you should ritually cleanse yourself after services for the dead, but that is religious/cultural, rather than biological. You should not get anything on you at a funeral that would require bathing right away.
Grief increases inflammation, which can worsen health problems you already have and cause new ones. It batters the immune system, leaving you depleted and vulnerable to infection. The heartbreak of grief can increase blood pressure and the risk of blood clots.
Leave the bad luck at the funeral, and bring good luck home. In Chinese culture, red is the color of good luck, and the coin represents fortune. Before guests arrive home, they should eat the candy and spend the coin to seal their luck. Families in other regions may present guests with a red thread instead.
Chinese families will typically give the guests a red envelope with either a coin or a dollar bill in it for good luck and a white envelope that has a piece of candy in it to take away the bitter taste of death.
The period after the funeral can be challenging. Between the death and the funeral, you may have been surrounded by family and friends, and kept busy making arrangements. It may not be until after the funeral that you feel the full intensity of your grief.
The body is first cleaned and any fluids are removed. Then, embalming fluid is injected into the arteries, which helps to preserve the body tissues. Finally, the body is dressed and prepared for viewing.
When to hold the funeral is entirely up to you. Some people believe three days after death is the correct timing; however, in law there is no set time. Given the many matters to consider in arranging a modern funeral, it is not uncommon for a funeral to be held five to seven days after death.
Many people worry that their children are too young to go to a funeral and won't understand what is happening. But most children have a full understanding of death by the time they are about 8-10 years old and many younger children will have enough understanding to go to the funeral.
Average Time Between Death and Funeral
With today's preservation methods, families have a bit more time to prepare and get affairs in order. This helps families make arrangements, and to pick a day to hold the funeral. A standard funeral can be up to about 2 weeks after the date of death.
Your simple presence will mean a lot to the family. You do not need to stay for the entire visitation, but try not to leave during prayers, if they are being offered.
A Filipino superstition holds that you should not go straight home after a funeral. If you do, death may follow you. So stop off somewhere else first.