Once an INFJ becomes emotionally numb, they don't care anymore and they can throw all caution to the wind. They can overindulge and they can be very cold. What's more is that they can be very mean. Be very careful how you treat an INFJ who is emotionally numb.
INFJs may not tell you that they've slammed the door on you, but will simply cease all communication or shut themselves off emotionally. People may assume that the INFJ will feel bad about the door slam and come back, but they don't.
INFJs are empathetic, patient listeners and loyal friends, but they may shut down when others push them too far. The Counselor personality has a cold, closed side, and it can be extremely hard to win them back as a friend when that relationship becomes strained.
INFJs often lock out their emotions when they're upset. These often try to process their thoughts before reacting, which is why they might keep quiet or shut people out when aggrieved. The last thing they'd want to do is to react without consideration.
An INFJ will stop caring when they realize that what they are putting into the relationship is less than what they are getting out of the relationship and they do not see that changing. At this point, they will go from being very caring to being rather checked out and will likely door slam you.
Their perfectionism can drive others away.
INFJs are perfectionists. Their compulsion for perfection can be harmful to the INFJ themselves, but it can also push people away.
INFJs without a vision for the future feel listless and apathetic, as if they're lost in a fog and unable to find a light to guide them home. In order to escape this reality, they may sleep whenever they can, slack on their responsibilities, or just shut down.
INFJs tend to disappear into their shell when they need some deep and meaningful alone, introvert time to figure out their life, thoughts, emotions, and ideas. They also withdraw when they don't feel genuine connections with others and prefer to protect themselves by keeping a distance.
For example, an INFJ may be turned off by someone who is superficial and focused on material things. INFJs are all about connecting with others and they care deeply about meaningful, authentic relationships. Consequently, someone who is too concerned with money or material objects may be a big turn-off for them.
A heartbroken INFJ might think they should never have trusted this person in the first place and eat themselves up with guilt. They might get angry and defensive, scared of ever letting another person in. It's okay to feel those things, but it's not healthy to stay there long-term.
The INFJ door slam occurs when an INFJ personality cuts someone out of their life. The INFJ isn't the only personality type to cut people out. Other personality types do this to some extent, too, but for INFJs, it tends to be more frequent and intense.
Usually, they will get more withdrawn and stuck in their head when they're angry. They might try to shut off noise, lights, or find a room they can hide away in to deal with their thoughts and charged emotions. Some INFJs shut down and stop talking and reacting, trying to sort out their thoughts inside.
Yes, the INFJ could be withdrawing from you because they realize they aren't really interested in you in that way. They may want to remain friends, but they're afraid to say those words out loud, in case they lose a relationship with you completely.
However, time and time again, INFJs have told me that they get uncomfortably awkward around their crushes. They giggle more, trip over things more, and make self-deprecating jokes to try to ease the tension.
Too many details or other sensory stimuli can provoke a stress reaction in INFJs, especially when you feel uncertain about a situation. Unexpected environments, events or interruptions unsettle you greatly since you are forced to focus on immediate, sensory details rather than relying on your intuition.
INFJ: Open-mindedness
INFJs seek someone who is open-minded and willing to explore different ways of looking at the world. That's what really turns them on.
The unhealthy INFJ tends to feel resentful of other people. Because of their auxiliary extraverted feeling, they feel pulled towards making others happy, but they see this as a distraction from their vision. They can become bitter towards the people they help, and they become easily overwhelmed when dealing with them.
Many INFJs, when speaking of their fears, cited fear of abandonment alongside a fear of opening up to others and allowing themselves to be loved unreservedly.
INFJs tend to take rejection personally. They want to feel valued by others and may feel frustrated when other people don't seem to like them. INFJs' coworkers should try to help them feel warm and welcome. They may struggle to give important feedback to others, simply out of a fear of conflict.
INFJ INFJs actually do become very upset if their loved ones ignore them for a long time.
Because of how INFJs deal with past pain, they're likely to have similar reactions to trauma. These include: Avoiding people, places, or things that remind them of the trauma. Experiencing fear and anxiety about the outside world.
Perhaps the most telling sign of burnout is a dwindling passion for your job, or doubt about whether this is the job for you. When you have become entirely spent, the amount of energy you can dedicate to your job starts to dwindle. When INFJs can't give their 100 percent, we start second-guessing our decisions.
INFJs and Boredom
You feel bored when you lack a long-term vision or purpose. You tend to be single-minded and idealistic, always searching for the “one thing” that you were called to do in life. When you don't know where you're going in life or what that goal is you can struggle with apathy or procrastination.
INFJs have unique needs and expectations when it comes to romantic relationships and you may struggle to find someone who matches you intellectually and emotionally.