When a narcissist gets humiliated they experience a
Any kind of public embarrassment will cause them further anger, further rage, further attacks, further unethical comportment, and unprecedented incivility. If the narcissist is going to be brought down, they will also seek to bring everyone else around them down to vindictively make them suffer.
The initial reaction of the narcissist to a perceived humiliation is a conscious rejection of the humiliating input. The narcissist tries to ignore it, talk it out of existence, or belittle its importance.
Being Humiliated
Feeling embarrassed or humiliated is painful for anyone, but narcissists are especially reactive to those emotions. To avoid such feelings, narcissists may preemptively humiliate people around them to gain the upper hand.
You can expect grandiose narcissists to lash out when wounded. The more insulted they feel, the more rage they're likely to feel. And the more intense their rage, the more viciously they're likely to attack. The problem with them is as insidious as it is tragic.
Narcissistic injury is experienced by narcissists when they receive any kind of criticism. This includes any critique that a narcissist perceived as a slight even if it wasn't meant that way. Injury also occurs when a narcissist is faced with judgment, is held accountable, or when boundaries are placed upon them.
Pretty much anything that doesn't give a narcissist what they feel entitled to will make them angry. If you ignore them, disregard their advice, or make decisions without getting their input, they will make their disapproval known to you.
Narcissists are unable to tolerate failure of any sort and public humiliation is considered the worst type of failure that could happen. A narcissist's ego is an extremely fragile thing and when they feel they they are are being laughed at or is losing the respect of others, it can be tremendously upsetting.
8 Triggers of a Narcissist's Rage
They feel that they've been criticized, even if the critique is constructive or said kindly. They're not the center of attention. They're caught breaking rules or not respecting boundaries. They're held accountable for their actions.
The easiest way to make a narcissist panic is to cut off your supply of attention and concern. Narcissists feed off of attention. Any kind. Whether it's good or bad, it doesn't matter to them.
Rejection, humiliation, and even the tiniest of defeats can shake them to their core. This leaves narcissists wholly focused on their image.
Empathize with Their Feelings
It is extremely soothing to Narcissists when you demonstrate that you understand and empathize with how they feel. But..do not insert anything about how the situation makes you feel, or anything about you at all unless it is an apology.
It comes hand-in-hand with this that narcissists hate being criticised or called out. Which is exactly why there's one word in particular narcissistic people cannot stand: "no".
Although narcissists act superior, entitled and boastful, underneath their larger-than-life facade lies their greatest fear: That they are ordinary. For narcissists, attention is like oxygen. Narcissists believe only special people get attention.
When a narcissist gets humiliated they experience a narcissistic injury. This triggers their suppressed painful emotions and compromises their emotional stability. To stabilize themselves, narcissists could use narcissistic rage, self-victimization, and/or discarding to regain control of their painful emotions.
The biggest narcissistic injuries occur when a narcissist doesn't get enough narcissistic supply. When this happens, the emotional stability of a narcissist is compromised because they are forced to acknowledge the painful thoughts, feelings, and emotions that they use narcissistic supply to suppress.
At the end of a relationship, narcissists may become combative, passive-aggressive, hostile, and even more controlling. People with NPD often fail to understand other people's needs and values. They are hyper focused on their egos, but do not account for how their actions affect others.