You will spend time apart from your new spouse. In addition to deployments, service members often are assigned to shift work, unconventional hours, temporary duty stations, training programs and other responsibilities that take them away from home.
But military couples have unique, career-specific challenges to face: that of frequent moves, the deployment of the active duty partner, having to constantly adjust and set up routines in new places (often entirely new cultures if the change of station is overseas) all while handling the traditional family ...
Being married to the military can be harder than we expected. The unforeseen challenges we face our civilian friends don't understand. Most military marriages have rough spots from time to time. Military couples say that those rough spots are often temporary.
Military marriage benefits include housing and living allowances, health insurance, childcare, as well as access to the commissary and exchange. Furthermore, these military benefits can also assist with educational opportunities and finding employment.
You will travel insane distances to see your friends and family back home. On top of that, you'll drive 8 hours to see your service member for 3 hours and this will seem normal. You'll spend the majority of your time as a military spouse either unemployed or underemployed.
There is no military spouse pay or stipend, but the military offers a number of benefits to help service members and their families. Your first stop after the wedding should be the nearest military ID card issuing facility to enroll in DEERS, the Defense Enrollment Eligibility Reporting System.
2. Life as a Military Spouse is a Challenge. The life of a military spouse is undeniably challenging. Being away from your partner for months or years at a time, assuming the role of a single parent, trying to balance a career while moving so often – all of these realities of military life can take its toll.
Military Spouses Want To Work
42% of military spouses reported that they are not in the labor force but are looking for employment. Military spouses are often well-educated and highly qualified for a range of careers, but frequent moves make it difficult for them to stay on a consistent career path.
Spouses and children of service members are traditionally called dependents. Being called a “Dependa” implies the military spouse sits at home all day doing nothing while their service member sacrifices everything to keep them comfortable.
Most soldiers were relatively junior, meaning that they were in low to middle military ranks and had been on active duty for three to four years. The average age at marriage was 22 years old, and all of the soldiers had previous experience in stateside military service.
The military spouse plays a significant role in the life and morale of the service member: The spouse stays home and keeps the family grounded, safe, and functioning while the service member performs their duty. Many spouses also work full time, pursue their education, and help raise the family.
For starters, an unmarried couple cannot live on a base outside of certain extenuating circumstances that would have the non-service member defined as a caregiver for the service member's children. As a result, unmarried military couples typically live off-base.
Military spouses often deal with the inability to continue or finish their education which can lead to broken career paths and a particularly hard time moving up the career ladder. Constant moves and lack of support can be debilitating.
Loneliness. It's by far one of the strongest and most common emotions shared by military spouses. For a long time, I thought “being lonely” was a part of the job. I was serving my country by supporting my partner, and in the end, it meant that being alone was something I'd have to learn to endure.
One of the biggest stressors for 44% of military spouses are the challenges that come with employment, in addition to time away from family and providing their children with a quality education. Other stressors include quality of life, military pay and family stability.
Members of the military often have to move around from base to base, which can be especially difficult for their spouses and families. The non-military partner may become isolated and lonely if they have to move away from family and friends, especially during times when their partner is deployed.
Life changes frequently for military families. We move a lot and our spouses deploy. Many military spouses I know choose to stay home so they can provide consistency for their families in the midst of chaos. "I'm able to stay home with the kids and cart them to and from school, appointments, etc.
Jody was devised from a blues singer reference, “Joe the Grinder,” describing a man cheating with your wife or girlfriend. It was also adapted from a couple of popular blues and jazz songs from the era, referencing a Jody for similar sins. Jody especially became popular during World War II and Vietnam.
Many sacrifice their own career in order to keep their family unit together. They fill critical job roles in the government, hospitals, and in their local communities. Some volunteer as coaches, in local schools/churches, as Key Spouses, in base services, and in peer support roles.
The law only allows division of “disposable retired pay,” which means the full military pension minus certain deductions. VA disability compensation is not a part of the military pension, and a court, therefore, cannot divide it between divorcing spouses as it could divide, for example, bank accounts and IRAs.
Can my family live on base with me? Soldiers' spouses and dependents can live on-base with them in family housing. Parents, extended family, and friends cannot live on base but are welcome to visit.
Some military spouses also develop PTSD due to their own military-related trauma. Depending on the mission, a spouse may not be able to locate or talk to their deployed partner. They may spend months or years terrified about their partner's well-being.