If someone tries to control situations or other people to an unhealthy extent, others may describe them as a controlling person. They may try to control a situation by taking charge and doing everything themselves or control others through manipulation, coercion, threats, and intimidation.
A controlling person is someone who attempts to maintain control, authority, and/or decision-making power over other people and situations. Controlling behavior can include everything from directly telling someone what they can or cannot do to more discreet methods like guilt-tripping, gaslighting, possessiveness.
Aggressive Physical intimidation, temper outbursts, bullying, and verbal threats are used to frighten a victim into compliance.
Causes of Controlling Behavior
The most common are anxiety disorders and personality disorders. People with anxiety disorders feel a need to control everything around them in order to feel at peace. They may not trust anyone else to handle things the way they will.
Some potential causes of controlling behavior are: low self-esteem; being micromanaged or controlled by someone else; traumatic past experiences; a need to feel in-control; or a need to feel 'above' someone else.. None of these have to do with you, the victim of inappropriate control.
Another common trait of narcissism is manipulative or controlling behavior. A narcissist will at first try to please you and impress you, but eventually, their own needs will always come first. When relating to other people, narcissists will try to keep people at a certain distance in order to maintain control.
Controlling, or manipulative behaviour is one of the key traits of a personality disorder called psychopathy. Thomas Erikson: Psychopaths, they are drawn to control, they are drawn to power, they are drawn to attention as a part of their narcissistic behaviour.
Red Flags When You're In a Relationship With a Narcissist
Downplays your emotions. Uses manipulative tactics to “win” arguments. Love bombing, especially after a fight. Makes you second-guess yourself constantly.
The colloquialism control freak usually describes a person with an obsession with getting things done a certain way. A control freak can become distressed when someone causes a deviation in the way they prefer to do things.
Feedforward, feedback and concurrent controls are also types of management control techniques. Controlling helps the managers in eliminating the gap between organizations actual performance and goals.
Summary. Controlling people attempt to assert power and control over others through manipulative tactics such as blaming, being critical, and shutting others down. They may not be aware they are exhibiting this behavior, which often stems from their own anxiety.
Disorders: Controlling behavior can result from several mental health disorders, such as obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), which cause intrusive or uncontrolled thoughts, pushing a person to spiral in a controlling manner.
What Can Cause Control Issues? Control is typically a reaction to the fear of losing control. People who struggle with the need to be in control often fear being at the mercy of others, and this fear may stem from traumatic events that left them feeling helpless and vulnerable.
The tactics are based on the author's "Basic Four" defenses: Hitchhiker I, L-Wrist, Front Dazzle, and Back Dazzle. The Hitchhiker I or wrist lock is used extensively in various dangerous situations, including handgun takeaways.
The control function can be viewed as a five-step process: (1) establish standards, (2) measure performance, (3) compare actual performance with standards and identify any deviations, (4) determine the reason for deviations, and (5) take corrective action if needed.
Controlling consists of five steps: (1) set standards, (2) measure performance, (3) compare performance to standards, (4) determine the reasons for deviations and then (5) take corrective action as needed (see Figure 1, below).
Deep down, control freaks are terrified of being vulnerable; they're anxious, insecure and angry. They believe they can protect themselves by staying in control of every aspect of their lives. They're very critical of their colleagues and their friends, but underneath their criticism is a mountain of unhappiness.
Increased anxiety.
Many control freaks experience constant worry. But rather than controlling their inner turmoil, they insist on trying to control the events around them. This approach backfires since they can't control everything all the time--and ultimately, they end up causing themselves to feel even more anxious.
In all honesty, control freaks do not even know that they are being that way. They tend to ignore their irrational thoughts or tackling their insecurities. Instead, they try to control people, situations, and (if given the chance) even God's will!