The “root of bitterness” grows in the soil of hurt that has not been properly dealt with. This “root of bitterness” produces the fruit of bitterness, because every root has fruit. There is a contagion about being a bitter person. There are physical consequences: emotional and psychological.
The “bitter root” in Hebrews 12:15 is first described in Deuteronomy 29:18: Beware lest there be among you a man or woman or clan or tribe whose heart is turning away today from the LORD our God to go and serve the gods of those nations. Beware lest there be among you a root bearing poisonous and bitter fruit.
But is this what it means in Hebrews 12:15: “See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no 'root of bitterness' springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled”?
Bitterness and resentment relate to anger. When we let anger at others or frustration at our situation fester and build up in our hearts, we can begin to develop bitterness and resentment. Often bitterness takes root when we are hurt by others or we think a situation we are put in is unjust or unfair.
From the Hebrews verse, we begin to understand that if someone takes on bitterness (the root of bitterness) whenever something happens to them that makes them sad, disappointed or angry, the root can grow into a tree and take over the person's life.
The key to fighting bitterness is forgiveness. When you forgive, you let the other person off the hook for their wrongs. You can hand your hurt over to God, who will handle it with perfect justice. Then you can step into freedom instead of being held in the bondage of bitterness.
Bitterness is rooted in unfair, disappointing, or painful experiences that would make any human feel hurt, angry, or sad. While most people are able to feel those emotions and then leave them behind, those who become bitter hold on, refusing to forgive the offenses (real or imagined) and miring themselves in misery.
In psychology, the emotional reaction and mood of bitterness is referred to as 'embitterment'. It is an emotional state of feeling let down and unable to do anything about it. Embitterment is different than anger because although it involves the same outrage it also involves feeling helpless to change things.
Resentment, or the strong and painful bitterness you feel when someone does something wrong to you, doesn't have actual physical weight, but it feels very heavy and can last a long time. Forgiveness is one way to get rid of resentment. Sometimes resentment lasts for years.
The Bible says, “Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you…
The narrative concerning Marah in the Book of Exodus states that the Israelites had been wandering in the desert for three days without water; according to the narrative, Marah had water, but it was undrinkably bitter, hence the name, which means bitterness.
In Jeremiah 20:9, he described his bitterness as fire in his bones. In Lamentations 3:4, Jeremiah described his bones as being broken due to his bitterness. As there are physical and mental causes, there are also spiritual causes. Psalm 32:3 indicates that unconfessed sins make the bones old and rotten.
To be specific, bitterness is the product of intense animosity, characterized by sarcasm and ill will. Resentment is true displeasure expressed toward someone as the result from a wrong, an insult, or injury; either real, imagined, or unintentional.
Negative Effects of Unforgiveness
Unforgiveness creates an emotional storm of distress in which feelings of stress, anxiety, depression, insecurity, and fear surface. Unforgiveness also creates a hardened heart. The hardened heart feels anger, resentment, bitterness, and hatred toward the offender.
" "Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice." "Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord."
Someone who is bitter is angry and unhappy because they cannot forget bad things that happened in the past: I feel very bitter about my childhood and all that I went through. She'd suffered terribly over the years but it hadn't made her bitter.
Encourage them to explain why they feel angry, don't interrupt them while they speak, and keep on asking questions until they have fully explained themselves. Try to see things from their perspective as they express their feelings. Use active listening , so that you really listen to what they say.
Wrosch warns that, in this form, staying bitter is a health risk leading to “biological dysregulation” and physical disease. One expert has proposed that bitterness be recognized as a mental illness and categorized as post-traumatic embitterment disorder (PTED).
Bitterness tends to fade in the face of excitement and joy. In other words, new and better experiences. So put yourself out there. Explore a longtime interest, re-connect with others, choose some new things to put in place in your life.
The main reason preventing people from letting go, is that anxiety and anger are hardwired into our brains. They describe your sensations generated being in flight (anxiety), or fight (anger).
Acknowledge your emotions about the harm done to you, recognize how those emotions affect your behavior, and work to release them. Choose to forgive the person who's offended you. Release the control and power that the offending person and situation have had in your life.
One of the most well-known stories of bitterness in the Bible is the archetypal tale of Cain and Abel. Cain becomes consumed by bitterness for his brother and God when he feels unjustly treated relative to his prosperous brother Abel.