If an event, like divorce, is experienced as a significantly shocking, overwhelming, life threatening, or painful incident, it could become a traumatic event and lead to trauma response.
Acrimonious divorces can lead to various signs of trauma and anxiety, such as negative thoughts, self-blame, isolation, depression, and insomnia. These symptoms can be exacerbated if someone already has additional risk factors, which can include: Previous trauma. Stress in other areas of life.
Divorced men often undergo severe emotional turmoil. They may feel angry at one time and sad or depressed the next. They also suffer from regret, loneliness, disappointment, denial, and guilt. Such strong emotions often take a toll on their mental health.
Post-Dissolution PTSD
What some researchers refer to as “post-dissolution PTSS” (post-traumatic stress symptoms) is characterized by the re-experiencing of symptoms, including intrusive thoughts or dreams about the dissolution and avoidance behaviors.
There are many triggers of divorce trauma.
You have discovered infidelity or other secrets or betrayals. You have been physically, sexually, or emotionally abused. Family, friends or your children choose sides, distance themselves, or abandon you. There are all the losses you never expected.
Going through an acrimonious, drawn-out divorce process can exacerbate your emotional trauma and result in physical symptoms of illness. Some risk factors, like intimate partner abuse, exposure to a serious threat of injury, or a history of trauma, can make the process more difficult and more likely to lead to trauma.
Statistics show that while women initiate divorce almost twice the rate that men do, women are also much more likely to greatly struggle financially after divorce. This is particularly true if children are involved.
According to a survey, 39% of men regret being divorced. But it is not as simple as it seems. This statistic has many layers to it – for example, a man who has committed marital wrongdoing that triggered the divorce may regret the event, but a man who has been wronged during the marriage may not regret it.
An article in Psychology Today reports that men crave relationships and marriage as much as women. Men are often happier in their marriages than women, men enjoy greater financial wellbeing and health from marriage than do women, and divorce is associated with worse physical and mental health for men.
Narcissists tend to put up a strong fight and view divorce as a competition they must win. This adversarial attitude can result in bullying, exploitative behavior, and a refusal to negotiate rationally.
Individuals may go through several stages of mourning or grief. The emotional intensity of this period usually reaches a peak within the first six months of separation. However, the grieving process may take as long as two years.
Individuals experience four psychological stages during divorce: deliberation, decision, transition, and healing.
The Four Horsemen are four communication habits that increase the likelihood of divorce, according to research by psychologist and renowned marriage researcher John Gottman, Ph. D. Those four behaviors are criticism, defensiveness, stonewalling, and contempt.
The emotional process can be broken down into 5 stages: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance.
In a study conducted by legal website www.avvo.com, 73 percent of women reported having no regret over their divorce, compared to 61 percent of men. Research has shown that men tend to worry about being on their own again after a divorce more than women do.
Men regret losing the kind of woman who is emotionally independent, bold enough to take care of her own life and happiness, and kind to her near and dear ones. She doesn't look back after someone disrespects her and won't give in easily to the proposition of getting back together with that person.
What science says. Past studies suggest that it takes a person, on average, eighteen months to move on after divorce, while others simply leave it at “it's complicated.” And that's the truth—divorce is complicated, and because of this, science is only so accurate.
Perhaps the most difficult period of divorce is the “separation period.” That is the time between when you decide to get a divorce, and the date when you are actually divorced.
According to various studies, the 4 most common causes of divorce are lack of commitment, infidelity or extramarital affairs, too much conflict and arguing, and lack of physical intimacy. The least common reasons are lack of shared interests and incompatibility between partners.
Men Are More Likely to Remarry
The rate for women was significantly lower, at only 19.4 per 1,000 women eligible for remarriage. This data indicates that men are consistently more likely to attempt a second marriage than women.
Given the massive amount of stress that accompanies divorce, it's not uncommon for breakdowns to arise during this time. Consider the feelings that divorce tends to trigger: sadness, anger, fear, resentment. These are all commonly experienced even in the absence of a mental breakdown.
Divorce is a life-changing event that affects both men and women, but studies have shown that women often experience more negative effects both financially and emotionally. For many women, divorce can lead to financial instability, loss of social support, and a decline in their mental health.
“The end of a marriage can absolutely bring on a diagnosis of PTSD and symptoms, which often include night terrors, flashbacks, intrusive thoughts related to the upsetting divorce, and even physical symptoms if a person is exposed to traumatic reminders of the divorce,” Dine explains.